My partner of 9yrs and 4 yrs of depression has now turned to making things up

[justin_n]

Hi there i need some serious help my partner of 9 yrs has had diagnosed depression for going on 4 yrs now and for the last 8 mths has got this idea that i am being unfaithful to her she goes through not so bad patches and then very very bad patches.She has seen a psych and that only seemed to make things worse it has gotten to the point now where she is making up different people in her mind believing i am conspiring against her and i am almost at breaking piont with my coping mechanisms and i really dont know what to do any more

[geoff]

hi Justin, thanks for posting your comment, and this must be a situation where you are worried but also a bit annoyed by how your partner is behaving.
Do you know the people she says that you are supposedly being unfaithful with, and would it help if you meet with them including your partner, so that it can be denied or will this be difficult for the both of you.
I'm just wondering whether or not she has been let down by one or a few of her friends or if she works by someone there as well.
There are several reasons why she could feel this way and by no means am I suggesting that they are happening, it's just a list, insecurity can be a problem, if the communication between the both of you has declined, or if you look or talk to other girls this may start it off, maybe you need to talk to a girl from work and it's definitely legit, or if have to work at night and there are heaps of scenarios.
You say that she has seen a psych so was this only once or a few times and wonder if she is taking any medication as it seems her anxiety is quite high, so has something else just happened to cause this. Geoff.

[pipsy]

Hi justin.n. You seem to be almost in a no-win situation. As Geoff suggested it might be an idea to have a talk with any female work colleagues first, alone. Perhaps a trip to her Dr for a referral to a medical specialist to see if there is some sort of imbalance. If she is on AD's maybe look at reviewing the dosage. I think at this stage both of you meeting, talking with other females she fears are 'coming on' to you might be a bit like the adding 'fuel to the fire' scenario. It's a great idea for future thought, but if she is that insecure, jealous now, she may view this as your way of 'covering' any trysts you may have in mind. I don't believe for a moment you are seeing another person, but in her mind, if she believes you are, treading carefully till you know what's happening would be better. Avoiding conflict is difficult, at the best of times.

Lynda.

[justin_n]

Hi geoff at the time she started with the cheating think i didnt know the girl that she was talking i had never met her so i went out of my way to find out who she is so at least i had an idea of what may be setting my partner of,My partner is very insecure with her self always has been and she had 2 visits with the psych but then the time frame between each visit was to far apart so she stopped going last night was prob the worst yet she adamant i am conspiring with this girl to get ride of her and that this gil has been sneeking into our house and taking pics to photoshop and use against her i am really stuck at this piont

[justin_n]

What do u mean by talk to a girl from work and it's definatly legit

[pipsy]

Hi Justin.n The girl your partner decided you were involved with, was she a friend of your gf? Perhaps your gf showed this girl a photo of you two, the girl possibly commented, something to the effect of, you being handsome, gorgeous whatever. Your gf, being so insecure, jealous, built up in her mind that you and this other girl must be 'on' together. You indicated earlier, you don't know this girl, it sounds as though she's a friend of your gf's. It sounds as though your gf definitely has some sort of imbalance. If you can talk to your female colleagues at work, just explain your gf is feeling a bit insecure, so, if you and gf do accidentally bump into these girls outside work, if your gf starts to accuse anyone your colleagues, being forewarned will know how to respond. Maybe if you could contact gf's Dr, explain what's going on and ask for a home visit. Your gf may react negatively and accuse you of more conspiracy, if the Dr witnesses this, it may give him some ideas on how best to treat her. Or, see the Dr for some advise yourself on how best to treat her. It's obvious how much you love her, but you need guidance too. Perhaps a therapist might help. I would talk to the Dr myself on this one. I realise Dr's are bound by professional ethics, but a Dr might be more help here.

Lynda.

[justin_n]

Hi pipsy the girl was a work college of hers but now she is so dead set that something bad is going to happen even tho i reassure her every day that it isnt.I thought maybe if i took her away for the night that might relax and free her mind up a lil but she was possibly the worst i have seen she woke early in the morning and just went really wierd to the piont we had to clean up and drive home things have improved marginally over the past few days but a few times a day she slips back to square one my mind is at breaking piont

[geoff]

hi Justin, ' talk to a girl from work and it's definatly legit' only means that when you talk to this girl it's about work, therefore legit. Geoff.

[pipsy]

Hi Justin. Perhaps at this point, it might be a good idea if you could get your gf to agree to talk to a professional. I realise this is almost 'mission impossible' given your gf's insecurities. You both need help and guidance. If you like you could try ringing our helpline and get some guidance on locating a counsellor/therapist for help. I can't help wondering if something really traumatic happened before you met her which she has never dealt with. Her insecurity and jealousy could be the result of something pretty major. At this point you're walking on eggshells, this is not healthy for either of you. Do you know anything about her which could shed some light on her behaviour?

Lynda.

[topsy_]

Justin,

Your g/f is really lucky to have someone who cares for her as much as you do. I agree with the others that a medical review is now necessary.

No-one else has mentioned this but could she be psychotic and/or delusional? It really needs to be sussed out.

Take good care of yourself at this time. I hope something improves for you both soon, Lyn.