My partner has depression and does not want to take any medication

[HanP]

Hi everyone,
I have recently learnt that my boyfriend has depression and we have had some ups and downs, but he has explained to me how it feels for him. He does not want to take any medication as he hates how it makes him feel, he describes it as one feeling, like being monotone.
I really want to be there to support him but to also know how to support myself and to learn it's not my fault, even though sometimes it does feel that way.
I think this space is such a fantastic idea and I really want to learn more about it and how I can not only help him but myself and others from my own experiences.

[Soberlicious96]

Dear HanP,

I don't much about medications for depression, although I can tell you that I have heard many people say what you said above; that it makes them feel 'monotone' and a bit disconnected.

It's great that you are here though and getting support for yourself. Who knows, maybe by your example, he might be moved to find help for himself, whatever form that may take.

In the meantime, keep coming back. there is plenty here to learn, and read and find strength and support from, so please feel free to absorb as much as you need.

Take care. And again, welcome. It's great to have you here. xo

[Guest_365]

Hi there

Having experienced my own up and down's with anti depression medication I totally get it and won't go back either. I've found exercise is the best, talking about issues with a counsellor or support network and mindfulness apps all helped me. Sometimes you need medication but that's a medical professionals decision. Maybe try suggesting some of the top points and see if that improves anything.

[smallwolf]

Hi HanP,

welcome to beyond blue.

Firstly, let me say that I take medication for depression. And for those who I feel comfortable with, when they ask me how I am I will say something like "neither up nor down, just existing...". I say that because when I cannot say that I feel good because that feels like a lie. But I cannot say bad, because that would be a lie also. So what your BF says is probably close to the truth. On the other side, I have a fair idea of how I would be without the medication so it is better that I do.

It is also good that you want to learn more, and support your BF. The best place to start would be here...

https://resources.beyondblue.org.au/prism/file?token=BL/0885

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/supporting-someone/supporting-someone-with-depression-or-anxiety

I hope you find the above pages (/documents) useful and hear more from you.

Peace,

Tim

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi HanP,

Thank you for starting your own thread! I think this will be a lot easier to chat with you.

I understand why your boyfriend doesn't want to take medication; feeling monotone can definately be a side effect of some of them. Can I ask how long he was on them before deciding to come off? Just because some medications can take a while to go into your system (so that feeling subsides). The other option could always be trying a different medication, as not all of them have that side effect.

The other option of course is therapy - which can also be very helpful!

Can I ask why you think this is your fault? Maybe if you can explain that better we can understand and try and help you feel that it's not.