My husband with depression bipolar and anxiety disorder, i become depressed

[Dontknowhow]

Hi everyone,

My husband is diagnosed with anxiety and depression disorder and possibly bipolar last year year. He has been struggling from time to time since we were together. In the beginning i thought it was just young age and he will handle stress better as he ages. Until the mental breakdown (from the extreme stress at work) he had earlier last year. He couldnt go to work or do anything for a few month and tried worked part-time for a few months until now he decided to quit and study to change career. 

Since he had his mental breakdown i feel that i become a different person. he has been on different medication since last may and we seem to finally find something that is working for him two months ago. During this time the feeling that this is going to be endless and there is no hope grows. When he was depressed he couldnt function or talk and when his mood swings to happiness we fight. i am able to go to work to support the family but the dark thoughts sneaks out from time to time. Especially when we fight i feel that i have done so much for him and he said he is grateful but he gets mad at me. 

I checked the signs of depression and i have a few of them but less than half. If i try not to think about the problems i am fine. i dont want to be changed but the situation did turn me into a different person. Its impossible not to be influenced when your other half has mental health issues. but what do i do to keep myself from falling deeper?

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[Palmtree]

Well done for reaching out. I am in a similar situation. I always believe that at the end of day you should always do what best suits you. As long as you are not putting yourself or other loved ones at risk. Easier said then done, I know.

you are right it does change you. Hopefully you and your partner can learn from your experiences. 

[PatT]

Hi,

First off it's a good thing that you have reached out and acknowledged that you need some advice on where to go from this point. When you live with a spouse you share a household but you also share their emotions, their experiences and their concerns. If your husband has been suffering from mental illness for a long while then it's inevitable that it's bound to effect you. 

It's great that you've been doing your best to support him but now you need to practice some self care and really act on making sure that you don't go down the same path as he has trodden. I would advise speaking to your GP about seeing a psychologist or a counsellor. They would be able to give you some good strategies to manage your own issues as well as better help your husband with his.

Also make sure you are still doing things that you enjoy, whether that be exercising, socialising, cooking, reading, whatever. Make sure you have an active outlet to take your mind off things. Even talking with your friends about how you're feeling lately can take a great load off your mind. 

I had a mental breakdown a little over a year ago and was hospitalised for 6 weeks. It's not easy to get over but it does happen. I'm nothing like I was during those dark days at the moment but it took a lot of support and encouragement as well as strategies to get past it. Take better care of yourself to take better care of your husband.

Pat.