hi Malley, I'm sorry that it has come down to this situation, where you and your g/friend are finding all of this so difficult.
When your g/friend has suffered for so long means it puts greater pressure on what you have to do, this may not be any problem, but to see her like this must upset you and the children, and their age you haven't told us.
The trouble here has two issues, one is to get your g/friend help, and the second is that you are pretending to the children that everything maybe Ok, but as soon as you go to bed that's when you break down by crying, so both of these need urgent help and need to be addressed.
I can't say whether she is suffering from PND because I don't have enough information, however whether or not she is it's time for her to go and see her doctor, who may suggest antidepressants (AD) and for her to see a psychologist, which she can do when her doctor puts her onto a mental health plan, where she can see a psych for 10 free visits, this is available every year, and the same applies to you, because both of you need help, and it must be tough when you have 4 kids who want attention all day, and that's exhausting while dealing with this depression.
Please know that we are here to help you and hopefully your g/friend as well, so please can you get back to us. Geoff.
