Hi scat
First I just want to say that I hope the news is good news when it comes to the tests you face. You deserve good news, especially given all you've faced and managed over the years.
As a mum who's an ex drinker (largely the days before I had kids), I've spoken to my 18yo son and 21yo daughter on a number of occasions about drinking. The conversations have been open ones where I've spoken to them based on my own experience. As I've said to them 'One of the most important things about drinking involves knowing why you drink'. Personally, I was an emotional drinker, using alcohol as an emotional regulator. It was also one of the ways I managed depression or should I say mismanaged it. I drank to feel happy, drank to manage social anxiety, drank to feel a sense of peace, drank to feel more energetic, drank to change my inner dialogue, drank to feel carefree and on and on it goes. As I've said to my kids 'Alcohol is mind altering, so always be aware of how and why you're altering your mind'. Not a problem with altering the mind on occasion but if it's a regular thing, you gotta ask why there's the need to alter it regularly. While my son has no interest in drinking at all, my daughter typically drinks on the odd occasion in order to consciously gain a particular feeling (whether it involves some relief from social anxiety or just because she loves the carefree feeling). My husband on the other hand is what I suppose you'd call a functional alcoholic. While he's never missed a day of work in his life, he's addicted to drinking at least six cans of beer Mon-Fri and more on the weekends. His Dad was the same so it was seen as a 'normal' everyday part of life, growing up. At the end of the day, relying on a mind altering substance everyday is technically not healthy or normal. Having lived on both sides of the fence, this is a personal perspective I can offer my kids.
While alcohol simply has an addictive nature, I think it also tends to serve people in a lot of different and complex ways. I suppose the question could be in this case 'How does it serve your daughter?'. Does she know why she drinks? I found the added thing about relying on alcohol is...it gets in the way of skill development. While I was drinking I gained no social skills for managing social anxiety, I gained no skills when it came to having to manage what was depressing, I gained no skills in better understanding myself from an emotional perspective etc etc. Not drinking forces us to gain skills, which can turn out to be a massive challenge in a number of ways. While I manage periods in depression far more consciously now, not drinking means having gained a lot of self understanding and skills when it comes to managing my nature. For a highly sensitive person, drinking tends to switch off the ability to sense (what's legitimately depressing, anxiety inducing, triggering, deeply challenging etc).
