Mum looking for some ideas

[Lulu13]

Hi everyone, my 27 year old son has been diagnosed with anxiety and I'm looking for some ideas to help get him through. I live about 5 hours from him and work full time. I've taken some time off work  at the moment and am spending time with him. He is managing to work - he's self employed - as long as he has someone with him he feels safe with. I listen, and I've accompanied him to appts when he's wanted me to. He seems calmer with me around but I'm worried what will happen when I have to return to work - any ideas on how I can provide support now and then long distance when I have to go back to work?? He has a happy marriage and two little kiddies, has a great small business and is a popular bloke. I hate to see him suffering.  He understands what he has and goes between intense anxiety and being rational about what he's feeling anxious about. Any and all ideas would be much appreciated! 

[blondguy]

Hi Lulu

A Warm Welcome to the BB Forums..

I am very sorry to see that your son is going through this. I have had anxiety for many years and it does dissipate in frequency and severity over time. I do feel his pain in these early stages.

Just my very humble opinion Lulu if thats okay. Going back to work will help your sons recovery. I understand that his symptoms are unpleasant and its great he is seeing a GP or a therapist which can be a great help.

You have some powerful positives here Lulu.....Great small business....Happy marriage..wonderful kids.....and he's a popular fella...These are fantastic foundations on which to heal. To answer your question about being 5 hours away and feeling powerless...His mobile phone can be a gift (safe place to access safe people) here if he gets 'stuck' My anxiety attacks used to happen in my 20's when there was no cell phones...That was a pain.

Even if you 'check in' on the phone when he is having his lunch would probably bring relief to his day Lulu

I do hope that even a little of this is some help Lulu

Here for you and thankyou for having the courage to post

Paul

[Zeal]

Hi Lulu,

Welcome to the forum!

Paul has already given you great advice! Going back to work doesn't mean your son's anxiety will worsen or his recovery will be disrupted. As he has a family and good friends, he will be able to gain support from them. Phoning every day or two for the first week could be a good way to get your son used to having less contact with you. It won't mean he won't get anxious without you there, but this will hopefully help minimise the impact.

Suggest that he talk to his wife about how they can work together as a couple to manage the anxiety. Does his wife work during the day? Being self-employed is potentially beneficial in this situation too!

It sounds like your son is going to be able to greatly improve his anxiety. With his great support networks, good work and professional help, he has a great chance of full-recovery 🙂

Best wishes,

SM

[Lulu13]

Thanks SM. It's been a very tough couple of days - with almost an admission yesterday. I like your ideas and they reinforce what I'm hearing from his psychologist. We are attempting to get him to a psychiatrist to review his Meds and he is desperate for them to kick in. Regional Australua being what it is, it's tough to get the help you need. We are all very very worried about him.

[Lulu13]

Hi Paul - thank you. I agree with all you are saying. It's just really tough.

[blondguy]

Hi Lulu

Thanks for posting back Lulu. It is very tough I have a daughter in a similar situation. Regional Australia would be a problem. I am fortunate to be in Melbourne (suburbs) and have help reasonably accessible for my depression.

If I may ask you Lulu...How is your son's quality of sleep? I am sorry about the rough period you and your son are going through. I was told by my female GP in 1983 that I would have my severe anxiety for the rest of my life...Yes that was awful to hear and I freaked out for about a week...until a few years later I realised that she was only letting me know not to expect any quick cure. So after a while the anxiety lost its 'bite'..

I do hope you and your son (and his family) are doing reasonably well Lulu

Kind Thoughts for You

Paul

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Lulu13,

Thanks for reaching out. I agree with what Paul and SM has said. Allowing your son to have a normal routine as possible will help with his anxiety.

Just thought I'd mention that I know accessing mental health services in regional Australia is difficult (I lived in lower SA before coming to the city). Sometimes it can help to look and think outside the box. For example, a lot of psychiatrists will consult via Skype or teleconferencing, which can be helpful. There are also some short online courses on anxiety which include phone visits from Psychologists - allowing him to work at his own pace but teaching techniques including breathing and mindfulness. Sometimes Mental Health nurses may also be available, which might help when it comes to moral support for attending appointments.

Hope this helps -