Managing my own depression, but husband is pretty bad at the moment

[Evaneeslee77]

I am 38 year old female suffering depression and anxiety I am managing pretty good but my husband also suffers depression most likely major. He is really bad atm, he is 56 and in Jan we relocated for my work. Since then he hasn't had work and he has slowly lost motivation and all hope. He says he feels nothing he's often in his own world and doesn't listen to stuff going on around him. By doing this he is missing important information. Then we argue coz I'd say u were there when that was said but he knows nothing about it. So frustrating! He has applied for jobs but only had 1 interview. I have 2 kids, 20 year old female who has panic disorder and social phobia and possibly autism. My son is 17 and is diagnosed autistic. We have trouble agreeing on the kids even tho he has been around since my son was 6. Both kids have been extremely stressful over the years and have taken a toll on both of us. Although he has 2 older grown up girls and they have also caused their share of stress. I dragged him to doc in Feb coz the way he is gets me down, and we are not living just existing. Doc referred him to psychiatrist which I've been asking him about but he's shady finally told me app didn't suit and he didn't reschedule. He isn't social at all. Has no friends. He's withdrawn and thinks therapy is not for him. I'm at my wits end and we're discussing him moving by himself to try and get better but he will most likely just doing nothing about all this. I'm upset and need my husband back he's slowly slipped away and he's an empty shell. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Doolhof]

Hi Evaneeslee,

Welcome to Beyond Blue and to the community here. I can relate a little to your story.

My husband and I moved to the region where we are now living three years ago. Six months after we were here, my husband lost his job and has not been able to find employment despite applying for so many it is ridiculous!

Both of us suffer from depression and other mental health issues. For many years I have been trying to talk him into attending some kind of counseling to no avail.

A while ago he went through a time where he was so depressed, I was really worried about him. Eventually he took himself to the Dr. and agreed to see a psychologist and to go on medication.

It is difficult to try and get another person to do things that you believe will benefit them.

Can you take your husband back to the Dr?

Could you suggest he contact Beyond Blue himself?

Are there opportunities for him to do some volunteer work in your area? That could boost his self esteem, morale and may even lead to work.

Is there a Men's Shed close by?

It may help to write important information in a book or on a note pad so your husband can see it.

For me, when I am rather depressed I find it difficult to concentrate on what people are saying and my memory can be very poor.

There is information on depression available on this site. Check out the resources and see if you can find info that will help you and your husband.

Hope this helps!

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools