Lost twin

[Snax]

My twin brother has battled mental illness for a long time, we had quite a rough childhood with parents abusing drugs and alcohol or just not really there. We were mainly looked after by our older sister. Kicked out of home at 15.

We are now 29, and living in different states. I went home recently for the first time in a couple years and he has gotten much worse, I fear he has schizophrenia but he refuses to see a medical preofessional. He says they won't understand what's going on in his head. He hears voices and chuckles at absurd things, like a raindrop or a bird, tells me crazy things such as my dog is controlling me and putting bad thoughts in my head. He was just in his own little world even after not seeing me for 2 years. Barely any questions about me or my life. This really hurt as we are really close, but it just seems he is so caught up in his own head.

I did try to talk to him about it, I told him I missed the old person, and that I am so scared and worried about him, that his actions aren't like him. I said I would help him to get help and support him the whole way. It's hard as I live 3000km away.

He can't hold down a job, has wasted what little money he had on musical instruments he can't play, and lost his car. He is living on very little and gotten so skinny, after bills has $20 to last for food for 2 weeks. He spends his time writing things on scraps of paper, or trying to grow seeds in the fridge.

I really want to help him but I don't even know where to start, I feel terrible as we are twins and I'm ok, and he is not. I'm so damn worried he is going to commit suicide, he has promised me he won't.

[MarkJT]

Snax, quite simply put, you can do all you can for your twin but unless he gets treatment, things are probably not going to change and possibly get worse.

I know you mentioned this but somehow you need to get him to the GP. Reinforce to him that a professional will know exactly what he is talking about as that is there profession. You can tell him that anything he says to the psych, that psych would have heard it before.

I would keep working on him, try and wear him down (in a good way) so that one day he might actually tell you to stop asking and that he is going to see the GP and/or psych.

You can only do so much and I feel for you for the situation that you are in.

Make sure you look after yourself as best you can and if you need to chat about what you are like, please do not hesitate to post in here and we will do the best we can to help out.

Mark.

[white knight]

Hi snax

Good reply by Mark as usual.

Financial strain can depress people heavily. I suggest you couls recommend bankruptcy which will give relief if he still has loans. If you are financially sound maybe paying for a financial advisor?

I cant help thinking you both need to be living nearby, no matter what. Again if you are more wealthy a regular plane flight for him to visit you?

He isnt capable of considering your needs at this time. He is unwell. This period needs your focus on him. When he starts recovering he'll get the strength to openly care.

Tony WK

[geoff]

hello Snax, I'm a twin and have mental illness while my twin has never had it or been through any circumstance which could have caused any mental problems, or perhaps he is much stronger than I am, but thankfully he hasn't, but has always been a great support for me through thick and thin, sorry to mention this.
I don't think that your parents were any help and could have precipitated this, that I can't really say but they wouldn't have helped, but from what you have described it seems very possible that he is suffering with schizophrenia, which must be a such a shock for you and feel as though half yourself has been taken away.
I agree with Tony that he should consider going bankrupt, but I'm not sure he will know what that means and could need your help with this, and somehow he has to be taken to hospital where medication will be admisitered, however I have heard of people with schizophrenia being medically controlled in hospital but as soon as they leave then they stop taking it, so you're back to square one, irrespective of this he should be taken to hospital immediately and then a team will visit him at home regularly.
I know how sad this must be for you, as I look back and think about what I had done to my twin, who would drop everything and come up to see me if I was desperate, he lives a couple of hours away from me.
I am really so sorry for you to learn about this, because he is half your soul and you care for him so much. Geoff.

[Snax]

Thankyou for your reply Tony,

I have recently finished studying and started working in a new field so at the moment can't pay for those things, it will take me a while to get a bit of money behind me again. Pretty much started again myself when I moved here 2 years ago.

When I lived in WA I was a big support for my bro, he lived with me for a few months at a time.I had a long term relationship breakdown and had to leave, I can't go back to live. Maybe I can get him over here with me, even just for a visit.

[Snax]

Thankyou Mark, you have made some really good points here. I'll just keep chipping away, if anyone is going to be able to get through to him, it's me.