Living with a Faimly member with Depression and Anxiety

[Peter03]

Over the last 2.5 years I am living with a family member who has depression and anxiety. To tell you first it is very hard to take care of them while you are at work for 8-9 hours a day. The only way I can keep track of them is by text message about 5 times a day and if no answer I call them. It changes your life as it has dropped a income by 1 and it is very hard trying to budget now when it was easy before. You see I work all day and then come home and spend about 2-3 hours at night cooking and doing house work and talking to them about what they did for the day. I have to take days off work to go to appointments as they find it very hard to concentrate and make discussions. So if someone out there has any problem with living with someone with this disability I am free to talk when I can and maybe give you some advise that might help you.

This condition has changed our lives very much as it has stopped as from going out and doing the nice things we use to do. Like going out as crowds get the person down and get scared when out on their own in a strange place. The best thing I have found with a person with Depression & Anxiety is exercise and this was also advised by our doctor. The family member goes to the gym about 3-4 days a week and this has been a great time for them. Also make sure they visit their friends or get their friends to come around to see them. I have also brought the family member a small dog to give the person a purpose to get up and take care of an animal. Also take the person out some were and get them out of the house and give them fresh air.

Also if not get them to see someone ASAP and get some help. My family member denied help for about 6-8 months till they come to me and said " I need help".

[white knight]

Hi Peter. Welcome.

Well you are indeed a very good carer because you are covering all bases.

With depression it can be so debilitating. Regardless of thus there are some obligations for the sufferer to stick to. Eg if they are capable of getting their own lunch they are capable if making you a drink as you walk in the door after a working day. If they are capable of watching TV and attending the toilet, they are capable if loading the dishwasher....and so on.

I covered this in (Google) Topic: who cares for the carer?- beyondblue

Sometimes the sufferer becomes too dependant on the carer. With you worried so much while working about them and texting/ ringing them I don't think that's healthy for you.

I think. Depending on the age of the sufferer, you need to break that cycle...start by reducing contact during the day and making a list if basic chores and expectations...in a tactful way

Tony WK