dear Lostwife, welcome to BB and thank you for posting such a difficult position you are faced with.
With someone who has anxiety and depression they suffer from two conditions, bad and even worst than that unfortunately, but this doesn't mean that there isn't light at the end of the tunnel, there is, but it's not instant.
I mention the two conditions because you are trying to pick up signs of his mood changes, well this won't be too easy, because you have to remember that depressed people always carry a mask with them, or perhaps wear their mask, which is their pretend persona.
It's a very difficult job you are faced with and you should not be alone here in trying to help him, which I will discuss a bit later, but there are are a few things that it's not best to do by yourself, or maybe what you should do, and these are and please take them as you see fit to: let him talk, it's not best to say 'look at everything that we have achieved or more so what you have achieved', because it means nothing at that present time.
Ask him at some stage whether he wants his mates to know how he feels, and I appreciate that he will say no, so then he has to ring up his GP if he has seen them, and if not then it's best to do so, which also includes taking medication, but he needs to talk to either you, family as well, GP as I said but there are a number of places to ring, Lifeline 13 11 14, Sane 1800 18 72 63, Suicide Prevention call back line 1300 659 467, or perhaps veterans line 1800 011 046,
