Hi all,
I’m a bit of a newbie here and I would appreciate any advice I can get.
My partener and I have been together for 7 months now, though in the last 3 months he has opened up to me about his depressive tendencies and it seems to be getting worse.
A huge part of his mental illness is never having “enough time”. He is always running late to things, never time manages properly and is constantly feeling too overwhelmed by the pressure of day to day life. All equating in being rushed and therefore hating himself because of it.
I have always tried my absolute hardest to be as supportive as I can be knowing this is what he is going through (his time problem amongst his own self hatred) though it is dramatically impacting his ability to get help and be in our relationship.
He is open to seeking professional help, though always says he ‘doesn’t have enough time’ too. As a musician any time he isn’t working he deems time to be practicing or going to the gym (his form of self improvement). He constantly gives himself ridiculously high standards for his career that can never be met (a form of self sabotage) and then gets angry when he fails.
When it comes to our relationship he never has time to see me either. Seeing him once a week is a constant battle. Talking to him over messenger is impossible and when I do get a change to chat to him on the phone every so often it will be for 10 minutes and he is quite distant. He says that the happiest he is, is when he is with me, that he doesn’t feel angry at himself. Though since this isn’t often due to him never finding the time to see me, I’m scared he does spend a lot of his time hating himself and not helping himself.
I love him, so very much and I want to fight for him and give him as much support as I possibly can. Though its getting to a point where I’m giving so much of myself to reaching out to him and I’m getting next to nothing in return.
I keep telling myself that it will get better, that he will end up seeking help and eventually find time to be present in our relationship again. Though it is so hard to keep fighting like this, especially when I know he is so sad at life and himself.
Do any of you have any tips for someone who has problems with time like this or are you in a relationship with someone who struggles with depression and can’t make time for you?
Please help me.
