i need advice on how to help my partner with depression

[desperate_partner]

My partner has depression he blames me for everything saying I don't let him breath I'm not sure how to act what to say cause at the moment any time I open my mouth its wrong we have kids under ten n its so hard to know what to tell them hes so angry please any advice would be appreciated

[trustlife]

Hi,

You need an ally here. Any approach from you will be instantly dismissed. Does he have a brother he trusts? If you're seen to be the cause step back. I know that seems unfair, but unless someone can catch his attention and make him see reason, you will be stuck in an endless loop, and that's not going to happen. This ally needs to make him see that (a) You are not the cause of his depression, (b) he can trust you to help him through it, and (c) professional help can really make a difference. Forget everything else, get your ally.

[pipsy]

Hi desperate partner.  Does your partner have a G.P.  I would try and make an appointment to see the G.P and explain to him what's going on.  I know G.P's are under 'patient confidentiality' and there are only some things they can discuss with other members of the family, but if he's on meds perhaps the G.P can get him in to discuss any side effects.  Once the G.P gains your partner's trust, he can then discuss with him any problems he may be having.  Depression can quite often lead to the sufferer believing the world's out to 'get them'.  Depression or 'Black Dog' as it's known is a soul destroying, crippling condition which can make the sufferer believe everybody's against them. A G.P will be able to determine how bad he is and what the appropriate treatment is.   I would also tell the G.P your kids are suffering.  Maybe, eventually, counselling for the family, but G.P first. 

Best wishes.