I miss my family but I don't know what do to.

[Guest_50817782]

Hello Beyond Blue, I am a 19-year-old female and I'm feeling really homesick at the moment. I moved a year ago from my childhood home which I had grown up in my whole life to where I work which is a university campus. I am an assistant to a researcher at the academy and he is a very friendly and intelligent man. At first, I didn't experience too much homesickness but that was probably because I got so wrapped up my excitement that I temporarily forgot about the needs of my family. Ever since I was a kid, I've had to look after my younger siblings with my older brother. Our family has been through the wringer at times with money and my mum travels a lot for work so is rarely home. I feel like I've left them all behind in a rush to pursue my career and now I deeply regret it. I wish I had spent more quality time with my siblings before I left home but now it's a little too late because now two of them are working and our family is busier than ever. I don't know what to do but I feel so much guilt over the situation. To be CLEAR, I do not want to leave my job. Even though it can be demanding, I really do love it and aspire to study or do research at this academy. I just wish that I hadn't made myself so available to my boss sometimes because I rarely get to see my family now. I know he understands but I feel so bad telling him to reduce my hours because I can see he really values my assistence. I also shouldn't complain because he also lives with a disability and ins't in great health so I don't want to put that extra burden on his shoulders. Depression has gotten to me honestly and I don't know who to open up to about it. I don't want anyone to feel bad because of me. That's all though. Thanks for listening to my rant 🙂

[therising]

An enormous and warm welcome to you, someone so beautiful and so deeply feeling.

While there can be a bright side to being sensitive, I've found there can be a dark or depressing side to it also. How to manage 2 sides of the same coin can be a massive challenge at times. I've found a constructive way of seeing it is 'I have the ability to sense so much, so how do I manage an ability that never came with an instruction manual?'. It definitely pays to be a bit of a researcher. The first question, in regard to researching, is typically 'Where do I begin?'. It all depends on what perspective we feel is going to make the greatest difference. Some research areas for greater self understanding

• Mental processing factors that can relate to psychology
• Chemical, biological or physical processing factors
• Natural factors or
• A bit of research in all 3 areas

While I'm a sensitive gal who thrives on researching all 3 areas, when it comes to developing a greater sense of self understanding, one area I truly appreciate involves 'Who am I naturally?'. I think this is because 1) it can sometimes offer the most basic or simplest of explanations to imagine and 2) it's less about being 'broken' or 'dysfunctional' and more about explaining how certain abilities can feel like more of a curse at times. For example, if one was to type 'The challenges of being an empath' into a search engine, this can produce information on great abilities. Tips and skill development can also come up in the process. For example, if sensitivity has a 'volume dial' to it, how to work or manage the dial is an example of skill. Another one can involve 'Instead of feeling for everyone, how to I shift my focus to only feeling for 1 or 2 people instead?'. Another one could be 'How do I manage the exhaustion that can come from being able to sense or feel so much? How do I give myself a break?'.

I imagine you developed your ability to feel for others through having helped raise your family. Gaining a sense of who needed you the most at times, a sense of other people's various emotions, a sense of when you had to put yourself second, a sense of urgency, the need for greater support, when someone needed their spirits raised, when someone needed to see the best way forward (and you developing that vision for them)...and the list goes on. No wonder you're so sensitive, having gained a sense of so many different things. You're well exercised in the way of sensing or being sensitive. This would be an example of turning the volume dial up, in order to develop the ability. How to turn it down at times is a whole other exercise. Being able to turn it down comes with benefits. Being able to feel nothing leaves a space for intuition to come into. Intuition may suggest 'Ask your boss when the best time to have a break to visit family is' or it may suggest setting up some Zoom meeting catch ups with certain family members, something everyone can look forward to.

One key thing I've found when it comes to sensitive people is they're always going to face next level challenges which involves further developing their abilities. Perhaps next level involves graduating to developing a stronger sense of intuition, something that can help manage depressing challenges in some cases. 🙂