Husband struggling with anxiety

[Melbourne128]

Hi, my husband has struggled with anxiety for years but recently it's got a lot worse. He is seeing a counsellor which is great and on those days and shortly afterwards he seems much better. When he goes to work though he just can't cope and often has to leave in a panic. I don't know how to help him. I worry that the anxiety will get worse as he sees himself as struggling to work - he's a perfectionist- and his lack of focus is adding to his worries and already low self esteem. I tell him he's wonderful all the time - because he is - but I know he doesn't see himself in a positive light at all. What can I do to boost his confidence, stop him worrying about the work thing, and just give himself time? Any advice is welcome from those who have been through this.

Thanks.

[Guest_9809]

Hi Melbourne 128 and welcome to the BB Forums.

It sounds as though your hubby is getting some benefit from his counselling sessions, but it may not be enough. Has he tried medication in the past? If not, it may be worth discussing this option with his GP. I know there is often resistance to go down this line, but for many it marks the start of their recovery. And it may not need to be long term, just long enough to give him a big of a leg-up. It could also be worthwhile to ask his GP to be referred to a psychologist who is able to help further with a range of therapies which better enable him to work through his anxiety and to develop methods of managing it.

Being a perfectionist is quite common for people suffering anxiety disorders. It just adds so much more pressure to ourselves.

I would suggest, if you havent already, that you have a read of some of the following sections found on the beyondblue website to help you as a carer and hubby as a sufferer (copy and paste to your browser):

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/supporting-someone/supporting-someone-with-depression-or-anxiety

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/supporting-someone/looking-after-yourself

I hope that reading these sections will help you somewhat. Besides that, you will receive lots of helpful advice, understanding and support from fellow members here on the Forums. There are many here, like you, who are supporting someone suffering from various mental health conditions. The caring support of others plays a significant role in helping us deal with the everyday struggles involved. It isnt easy and takes a toll you you. So its important you note the suggestions contained in the section above which deals with looking after yourself.

Please have a look through other existing threads in the 'Carers' section of the forums. Reading some of those will likely give you some helpful advice on how best to support your hubby. Please do not hesitate to reply to any thread that you have any input to offer or questions to ask. Your presence will always be very welcome.

Taurus xx

[Melbourne128]

Thanks Taurus. I really appreciate the support. X

[geoff]

hello Melbourne, being a perfectionist and having anxiety could mean that he may also have OCD, and wonder whether this has been also diagnosed. Geoff.