How to help partner of 7 years

[Blue_concerns]

Hi there,

My partner (26 year old male) shut me out last night after a small argument and this morning told me he feels like he wants to die. He has no prevuous previous mental health diagnosis and honestly this is relatively new to me.

He is struggling to talk about it and has said that he doesn't know how to talk to me and also doesn't think I can handle it.

I've taken the day off work to sit with him but I'm not sure where to go from here.

[White_Rose]

Hello Blue

I am so sorry your post has not been answered earlier. We do miss posts occasionally but that is not an excuse. I hope you are still reading here.

Depression can hit out of the blue and gradually makes itself known. Often the person concerned is very scared when they start getting these feelings and has no idea what to do or where to go. You need to make an immediate appointment for him with his GP. Make it a long one and tell the receptionist it's urgent. If you cannot get an appointment within a couple of days then take your BF to the nearest hospital ER.

You don't need a previous mental health problem to be depressed, it seems to just happen. I think you will find it helpful to look at the information on BB. Go to The Facts tab at the top of the page and explore the drop down list. Much of this information can be downloaded but if you want any booklets place an order. There is no charge.

There are several help phone lines you can access 24/7. The people who answer these phones are knowledgeable and helpful. Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 Suicide Call Back Service 1300659 467. Don't be put off by this name. They are excellent people to talk to and will be able to help you.

I will check back to see how you are going. Again I am so sorry your post was missed.

Mary

[white knight]

hi blue concerns, welcome

Mary is right. Please get him to a GP.

Even a remark made flippantly has to be taken seriously.

Tony WK

[Blue_concerns]

Thanks Mary,

He refuses to go see a professional, however he has improved significantly.

I would like to talk to him about seeing someone again, however I am not sure how to effectively approach this subject as I believe he feels embaressed about his feelings. I will read up on the FAQs and maybe order some hard copies to see if he will read them in his own time.

Thank you both for your replies, it's much appreciated.

[White_Rose]

Thanks for keeping us up to date. Reading some of the BB literature may help your BF realise being depressed is not good and needs to be addressed sooner rather than later.

When he says he doesn't think you can handle I suspect he means he cannot handle it. Pushing away those people who want to help is a very common action in those who are depressed. Because of public attitudes to mental illness many of those folk with depression will feel ashamed of themselves and more so when they realise they cannot get well alone. It's a hard thing to accept.

Do you think he would go if you offered to go with him? Maybe not, it may just reinforce his idea that he is useless. See how he goes on after reading some of the BB FAQs.

Mary