How to help a parent with anxiety

[Red_Rose]

Hi everyone,

I have a situation with my mother, my father told me she has a lump near her breast but she wont see a doctor because she is terrified of the outcome. My father has told me this in secret as she does not want me to know, he has tried to get her to go but she wont and he believes I will have better success. So over Christmas I have to randomly spot it and then convince her to go to the doctor. I will suggest that I go with her to the doctor for support but is there anything else I can do?

My mother, now in her mid 60's, has always been very negative and has a very pessimistic out look on life. She has always struggled with anxiety and it has progressively gotten worse over the years as she tries to cope with day to day problems and coming to terms with my fathers and her own death. Unfortunately she does not believe in mental illness and wont seek help.

So if anyone has any suggestions on how to assist my mother it would be greatly appreciated.

Many Thanks

[pipsy]

Hi Red_Rose. I have recently undergone radiation for a cancerous tumor in my right breast. With your mum I would suggest you get as much info regarding breast cancer as possible. A lump doesn't necessarily mean cancer. It may be a cyst. The Dr will examine her, then send her to have a mammogram, usually followed by an ultra-sound. Based on the report, the Dr usually arranges for a biopsy. It may be benign, in which case the Dr will simply arrange day-surgery to remove the lump. If there is a history of breast cancer, your mum needs to be checked. Everything that needs to be done will be done with a minimum of discomfort to your mum. I had a lump previously in my left breast. I had a mammogram/ultra-sound, followed by a biopsy. The lump was benign, it was removed by day surgery. If possible try to arrange for your mum to see a female Dr as this will help her. I am in your mum's age group. Ask your mum if the lump is painful, if it is, very likely there is nothing to fear. A biopsy usually gives a good indication whether there is a worry about cancer.

Lynda

[Red_Rose]

Thank you Lynda, you have helped a great deal.