How do I support my husband, who appears to be headed for his 5th nervous breakdown

[MelBat]

My husband is in a heightened state of agitation frequently at the moment. He overreacts when we disagree, when the children make poor choices and so on. I am being very careful not to snap at him or encourage a disagreement. We disagreed on Friday morning with regard to a very minor matter. I contacted him by telephone later that day to try to calm the situation with calm talking, but he exploded on the phone and hasn't spoken to me since. I believe he needs to go a seek psychological help, but he is stubbornly resistant. He has recently stopped taking his anti depressants. I am not sure what I can do, other than try my hardest to be calm.

Any tips on how to help him would be greatly appreciated.

[white knight]

Hi melbat, welcome

Most people have arguements. Some people get angry when they dont agree with their spouse. It doesnt mean they need to see a psych.

This happened to me in a previous relationship. I lived with a woman for 10 years. Several times when l left home unhappy on foot my girlfriend rang my psych. He rang me and told me to raise my medication without knowing why we argued. That is wrong.

Hubby's sensitivity could be a factor. I'm not saying he doesnt need attention however, just that the person without the MI could also have fault.

Below are some threads that might help.

Topic: depression and sensitivity a connection?- beyondblue

Topic: talking to men, some tips- beyondblue

Topic: nip it in the bud, ideas- beyondblue

Topic: embracing the embracer- beyondblue

I hope you get together and he calms down. Remember when something triggers an explosion of temper, the core of the problem isnt the thing you argued about...its a number of festering problems.

Tony WK

[blondguy]

Hi Melbat

TonyWK has excellent advice as well as valuable links too

The heightened state of agitation is a concern and difficult to deal with

If I may ask you why your husband has stopped taking his antidepressants?

Like Tony mentioned above even though its just a small trigger....the core of the problem are most likely his problems 'festering' in his mind making you an easy target......unfortunately Mel.

If you wish to elaborate on why he stopped taking his meds we can assist you more effectively

The forums are rock solid secure to ensure your privacy and comfort when posting Mel

I do hope you can get back to us

my kind thoughts

Paul

[geoff]

hi Mel, he may have stopped taking his AD's because he thought they weren't helping him, well that maybe true, however that's when he should have gone back to his doctor and have his medication reviewed, that's all well and good but not what he has done, and now made him a difficult person to talk with.
Even if you remain calm, what you say may still make him annoyed, so it's not easy to try and persuade him to see his psychologist, but maybe he might be prepared to see his doctor to begin with, so you have to try and approach this situation from another angle, and not mention how he is behaving, I know that maybe very difficult not to do.
Your children will be frightened to do or say anything when he's around for fear of reprisal, this isn't what all of you have to put up with, but when depression is involved then anything can happen, but would it be possible for you and the kids to try and get some help, but remember this isn't any fault of yours. Geoff.