How do I support a partner with depression?

[Puppies]

Hi there,

I've been in a relationship with my partner for 2 years and I have difficulty understanding how I can best support him.

A big issue is that we live far away from each other, but he asks for a lot of time to himself. I haven't seen him for over a week and try to compromise with him but he seems to be thinking just about what he wants or what he thinks is best for him, and in turn he disregards my feelings.

I think I'd just like an insight into what depression makes you feel, especially in relation to a significant other, and maybe how I can show I'm supporting him, even when he pushes me away.

Thanks in advance 🙂

[Chris_B]

Hi Puppies, welcome to the forums. A good place to start would be reading through the threads in this section. Here are a few to get you started:

Tips for caring for a loved one

New to the supporting family and friends forum? Here's 3 tips to get you started

Also, this section of the beyondblue website has some helpful resources:

Supporting someone with depression or anxiety

[Carmela]

Hi Puppies, Chris has provided you with some excellent threads to get your started. I particularly find 'Tips for caring for a loved one' very useful as it has responses from multiple Contributors and BB Champions.

It is great that you feel educating yourself is important to understand how to support your partner. It is a positive and extremely important step in appreciating the enormity of mental illness and how it affects relationships.

Please contact us again and let us know your thoughts and any questions.

Carmela

[Puppies]

Hi Carmella and Chris B.

Both of you have some good points and good recommendations of where I can go to do more research. We have spoken since the last time and he's doing okay at the moment although he does say that a lot of the time he doesn't know how he feels, which frustrates him a lot and is why he can't talk to me about his moods.

I mentioned to him that I'd be happy to do all of this together, whether it be go with him to find out if he should take medication, go see a psych together or even just do some research on the net about depression and anxiety.

I think he's okay with the idea and so I think I'll start there. Although everything seems much harder when I'm home, as he lives so far away.

Thank you both for your replies 🙂

[Carmela]

Hi Puppies,

Your strategy is great. The best you can do is lightly encourage, support him at GP appointments etc and let him know you are there. My husband would say that he couldn't feel, so it was at these times, l just told him l loved him, was patient and showed compassion as the struggle was real and painful for him.

Wish you the best and please reach out again if you need support.

Carmela x

[Puppies]

Hi Carmela,

Thank you for your help. My partner and I are still doing long distance, and his depression has been getting harder for us to deal with as we're so far away, but he's been seeking help by seeing a psychologist. I'm proud of him for taking that step, it's just very hard to sit back and watch him go downhill when he feels that nothing is going right for him.

Katrina x