Helping friend/ partner

[Em_Louise]

Hello!

I became super close friends with someone last year over and recently we started dating and it’s going great, the only thing is they’re struggling a lot with depression, anxiety and I believe ADHD too. It’s so hard to see them at a low and I have no idea how to help them, any advice would be great I so scared that I’ll lose them.

Also they briefly have mentioned that high school was really hard but never went into specifics I do know that they struggle with body image a lot and just generally traumatic sort of high school time, and while I know they’re making progress and are talking to me, and getting help it’s still so scary when they stuff about how hard it is or how tired they are, I’m just really afraid basically and it’s out of my control.

I should also mention that I am also trying to seek help for some of my own mental health issues but they aren’t quite so severe, and in some messed up way I almost use my partners experience as a way to invalidate my own problems, which I know is bad but I can’t help thinking how much worse it is for the, and other people I know.

any replies would be amazing, thank you in advance xx

Em.

[quirkywords]

Hi EM

Thanks for reaching out.
You have expressed yourself and you concern for your friend.

Your mental health is just as important as your friends. it is necessary for you to look after yourself before you can help your friend.

Have you seen your GP.. ? It would be helpful to talk to someone.

Is your friend getting help. Listening to each other and your needs will help you.

feel free to post here as much as you like

[smallwolf]

Hi.

just as couple o thought...

it is natural to invalidate your own needs or issues. I will typically say my own problems are 1st world issues when at my psychologist. At the end of the day, if you have depression etc. if you are feeling low, you are feeling low and the cause that put you there does not matter (in terms of getting help).

A link to help you the support your friend is here...

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/supporting-someone/looking-after-yourself

It is a positive that you are seeking help as well. If you talk with a professional you can also talk about supporting your partner as well. I have had similar chats with my psychologist and it helped me.

[Sweesoft]

Hi! Hope you are well. Every feeling is valid regardless of others having worse. Seek professional help and convince them to get help, too. It's hard to just let things be as it might get out of hand in the future.

[Em_Louise]

Hello!

Thank you to everyone who replied I’m feeling a lot better now about everything 🙂

They have been getting help and still are which is great and I am also getting help and have a referral for a new doctor.

thank you again for the support x

em