Help needed

[Unsure77]

Hi

i recently walked out on my bi polar fiancé as it got abusive and nasty. I wish I had read Tony's post about the cuppa before doing so, I'm not a confrontational person at all, the is sure I cheated on her which I didn't as she contacted the person and was told the same thing, but still didn't believe either us. She told me she loved me and things would change every time I went back but never did. The last time I went back she hit me again so I walked. It's been nearly three weeks now I haven't heard from her. Her family hate me as they all think I cheated on her, she has told them I am a compulsive liar. I love and miss her so much.

have I made the right decision by leaving, not that I think I will ever see or hear from her again. She is all I have thought about since I left.

[Unsure77]

Things have turned bad dng think I've been well lied to.

[Guest9337]

Arvo U77.

What shall we do about it mate?

dng.

[Unsure77]

Basically she wanted me to spend 100 time with her until she was ready for me to see my kids or parents, I was happy to compromise and happy to put in the effort but I wasn't happy about not having my kids with me as often as I can, that wasn't good enough. It had to be until she was ready. I don't even think she wanted me to work/run my business which has suffered enormously. She was apparently taken to hospital because her heart stopped for 7 mins, she has had a heart attack and stroke rhe next day but the daughter sent me nearly 200 messages asking about our relationship, questioning me what my intentions are and there is no compromise.

im just not sure how true this was because less than 24 hrs later she was breathing on her own and now was about to call me. After I said I wanted to be able to see my family and friends

[Guest9337]

Yo U77.

I suggest you do a bit of research on cardiac arrest. I have briefly, on our behalf, and discover an overall impression that if ones heart arrests/stops for 7 minutes prior to hospitalization, that one is likely to be in hospital until the doctors find out what happened.

Similarly with stroke on a day after cardiac arrest... did the stroke happen in hospital and then they let Her out?

I am somewhat dubious, if that's the case.

I note you are unsure of the veracity too.

But, if we just take it all onboard, what changes?

If those are lies, then they are truly an act of legal fraud. Take it to police for investigation please.

If those are truth, then crikey that's one strong lady! Do you want to be around someone who is that strong, that they can suffer cardiac arrest and stroke all in 48 hours and then still be asking about your intentions through her daughter?

As an option, we obviously do have to recognise that survival needs are highest needs on the bargaining table. Might She die if you stop relating to her? Because if She implies that, well that's another expression of emotional manipulation in DV situation.

I am highly concerned about this direction U77. stay safe mate.

I am highly concerned because if She honestly believes her life is being threatened by something you aren't doing, or are doing, then She may well undertake more drastic means of expressing herself.

dng.

[Unsure77]

Apparently she is still in hospital and she had the stroke and heart attack at the same time in hospital yesterday. I'm not sure when the heart was meant to have stopped if it was home or hospital. Apparently it's the daughter sending all the messages without her knowledge.

[Guest9337]

Interesting... Risks. Is the daughter attempting to emotionally manipulate you?

What might the daughter gain from doing all this confidentially?

So things are getting out of hand now, with the daughter interpretating wishes of She. Much harder to advise.

Do you feel a visit to the hospital is a nice thing to do? What does daughter think of that?

If hospital trip, then what is purpose of hospital trip, etc....????

If no hospital trip, then what? Phone She??? Leave She for good? Wait for her to leave hospital then contact?

I am concerned that if SHE finds out you are discussing matters with she's daughter, then she may become more upset with you!

I personally don't like people talking about me behind my back. If they want to talk about me, do it with me, in front of me please is how I feel.

anything else U77?

[Here2Talk]

Obviously it’s unacceptable to have you not spending time with your kids. Your kids don’t like her?

As for the hospitalisation there should be a way to find out how accurate that is?

It’s a tough situation Unsure. She clearly still wants you - doesn’t want to be washed clean of you all together, but definitely some odd demands....

Did you say she had bipolar disorder? From what I’ve picked up on out of what you’ve said there are a lot of traits consistent with personality disorders...

[Unsure77]

Yes she does have bi polar but as far as I know doesn't take her medication.

the kids and her had a falling out early on in the relationship but were still willing to talk to her, she thinks they hate her and treated her terribly.

[Unsure77]

I honestly don't think it was the daughter sending me the messages because she hates me. She doesn't even want me with her mum. There would be nearly 400 or more sent in 48 hrs and very little about mum condition in hospital. More wanting to know my intentions with her, and tell me there were no compromises I wasn't in that position to do that.

[Unsure77]

I forgot to mention that the daughter who was apparently sending the messages has told her mum I don't want her or love her and have moved on.