Help needed

[Unsure77]

Hi

i recently walked out on my bi polar fiancé as it got abusive and nasty. I wish I had read Tony's post about the cuppa before doing so, I'm not a confrontational person at all, the is sure I cheated on her which I didn't as she contacted the person and was told the same thing, but still didn't believe either us. She told me she loved me and things would change every time I went back but never did. The last time I went back she hit me again so I walked. It's been nearly three weeks now I haven't heard from her. Her family hate me as they all think I cheated on her, she has told them I am a compulsive liar. I love and miss her so much.

have I made the right decision by leaving, not that I think I will ever see or hear from her again. She is all I have thought about since I left.

[Unsure77]

Well the business side would be to make the money to pay my taxes that I spent in attempts to make her happy, don't get me wrong she always asked, but I let her because I wanted her to be happy.

as for family and friends to be able to see them and not think or talk about her, talk about what we might be doing on the weekend or having my kids stay over.

[Unsure77]

Why am I questioning myself if I have made the right decision when I know it is?

[Guest9337]

So, 2 jobs booked, are you all prepared to do those jobs?

Ya might give anyone or all of your family/friends a call and arrange to hang out.

Set dates, times make goals!

[Unsure77]

Yeah I did 2 jobs today, spent last couple days getting machinery ready for today, will work tomorrow.

is it because I feel so empty and lonely that I'm second guessing myself on my decision dng?

Or is it because I feel guilty about leaving her in a time of need?

i really do love her and miss her so much.

[Guest9337]

Have a read up on Stockholm syndrome U77, you may find some answers in there. Look for ways forward & solutions too.

[Unsure77]

Thanks dng, I did see that this may very we'll be the case.

[Guest9337]

I have spoken with several survivors of DV and/or SV and there is this weird thing that crops up, sometimes they are both afraid to reach out to their closest healthy friends/family, and afraid to discard the old unhealthy situation.

The fear is about connection - losing one connection, fearing to make/maintain new and healthier connections.

So Connect!

Connect everywhere you can that is healthy.

[Guest9337]

One pathway of connecting is reconnecting with oneself - as a conscious practice.

I suggest you do the 16 personalities process and then read up on what the site says about the personality you show them during the process/questions.

I'm a infp mediator and my wife is a isjf defender. Note that personality may change over time, so take a snapshot of where you are!

glhf, dng.

[Unsure77]

Evening dng

where do I find the 16 personalities site you are talking about

[Guest9337]

google "16 personalities" and it should come up as a .com near the top of the list hopefully.