Feeling lost and unable to help

[Jemmy]

e been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and for 2 of those years he has had depression and anxiety.

he has a very full on job, which he loves, but takes a lot of time and energy, leaving not much time for him to have a hobby outside of work or much time for us to spend together.

he has just started seeing a psychologist, which is great because I feel like he is making steps and trying to work things out.

We have a great relationship, however I’m starting to question if we will survive this process. I’m very emotional and need very open communication, where as he is quite shut off and doesn’t like to talk about his feelings.

I guess I’m just at a point where I’m not sure what to do to help him or to help myself cope. I don’t really feel like my friends understand everything entirely which makes it hard to talk to them about it.

i don’t really know who to talk to, I’m thinking of seeing a therapist but the cost is high and I’m not sure I can afford it.

if anyone has any advice, it would be muchly appreciated!

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Jemmy,

Thanks for your post. I'm sorry that you're both struggling but glad that you decided to come here and talk about it. For what it's worth, I completely see where you're at - both myself and my partner have struggled with mental health issues.

Advice wise, there's a couple of things that comes to mind -

Talk to your boyfriend. Let him know how you're feeling and what you're needing. Earlier on in our relationship, talking about feelings with my boyfriend was like speaking french - so incredibly foreign. Especially for someone whose never really talked about feelings before; he didn't even know what to say. But it does take practice, and maybe his psychologist can give some advice/homework to help him too.

Have some me time. What is it that you're feeling personally? Lonely, tired, ashamed, overwhelmed? Tuning into what you're feeling can help you figure out what you might need.

and finally, price wise - you can have a search for a psychologist who bulk bills and get a MHCP with that. Are you familiar with Mental Health Care Plans? Or you could look at getting a counsellor rather than a psychologist.

Hope this helps,