dont know what to do :(

[gibby3794]

One of my close friends has really bad depression and bullimia (however you spell it)

He went to a psycologist a few months ago and was told he was fine and doesnt have anything (i know for a fact he does, the psycologist doesnt know him so cant know for a fact what he does and doesnt have, now my friend thinks he is fine and everyone that tells him how sick he is he thinks they are the sick ones

I dont know what to do im worried about him and because he thinks he doesnt need help he wont get a second opinion.

[white knight]

Hi gibby,

well done to care for your friend so much, I wish all humans were so compassionate.

Unfortunately there are likely 3 times the number of mentally ill people out there than those actually diagnosed with an illness. Or more

Until your friend's condition worsens (who knows he might get better), there is nothing you can do and any pressure from now on will make him start running away.

We often say here "you can lead a horse to water but you cant make him drink" so apt in these pages. So until then, just keep caring for your friend but back off on the illness thing.

Tony WK

[gibby3794]

Thanks for your comment tony 🙂

Yeah i dont mention it because i know he doesnt want to talk about it/acknowledge it, we were having a conversation about depression etc (when he told me he lost his job because his boss thought he was sick) i already knew about that, his exact words were im not sick ive seen a professional and he told me i wasnt

i know i do have depression etc but mine isnt as bad as his, and i dont have an eating disorder, 

i dont like having to sit back and watch friends like this knowing there is nothing i can do about it 😞 

[White_Rose]

Hello Gibby

Nice to meet you. It's also lovely that you care about your friend and want to help him. I agree that any pressure may cause a serious rift between you and will still not get help for him.

I wonder if a conversation about work will help. I think it was pretty bad that he was sacked for having depression but I know many employers are less than tolerant. Do you know if the psychologist is prpeared to give him a signed statement saying he is not depressed which he can give to his ex-boss and so regain his job. My bet is that the psych will not do this which give your friend the motivation to get help elsewhere.

The other thing I wonder is if the psych actually said your friend was not depressed. I don't mean to imply your friend was consciously lying, but we know how easy it is to misunderstand what has been said, especially when there is an answer we hope for.

None of this is really going to get your friend back to professional help and I am quite angry that any psych could make these kinds of statements based on one visit. Of course, he/she could have said your friend was OK to work which is not quite the same thing.

My only definite suggestion is just to talk to and listen to your friend. The more open he becomes the more likely he is to act on your suggestions.

Sorry I cannot be of more help.

Regards

Mary

[gibby3794]

hi mary yes the psych said he had no mental illnesses which is far from correct, he was fired because the depression anxiety etc is that bad that he was having breakdowns at work (getting angry) so he actually isnt ok to work.

yeah atm im sort of just trying to be there for him which is hard as i live 400 kms away 😕