dealing with my husbands depression

[I_just_don_apos_t_know]

I need some advice to how to deal with my husbands depression, we have been married for 12yrs and have 2 kids. He had a motorbike accident over 7 yrs ago and he was luckily enough to get a second chance at life but he doesn't see it that way andnow he has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It has been affected our marriage for the last 5 yrs but lately it is getting worse. I can't seem to do anything to make him happy. When he is grumpy I just leave him be which sometimes could go on for days and it only starts to be good again after I try and fix it by acting that everything is normal. He won't open up and tell anyone what it going on he just bottles it up. I have tried to help him but he sees it as me picking on him or telling him what to do. I am currently contemplating on tell him to go stay with family members as it isn't fair for the kids to be taken away from the environment they know. Is telling him to leave and take time away the right thing to do while he is in a depressed state? I am emotionally and mentally over trying to make it right especially when he does seem to want to make it work. 

Any advice is greatly appreciated  

[white knight]

Hi  welcome to beyond blue forums

Its great you posted here. It is a start towards trying to understand your husbands state.

Like lost thing s in life, there are two sides of all stories. We only hear one side and we have to picture the situation. It isnt easy. So to be fair and realistic, I'll try to put both sides of this story to you because it will take effort on both sides to save this marriage.

I have threads I'd like you to read- even if its just the first post of that thread. Please use search above to find them 

Depression- a ship on the high seas

Talking to men- some tips

Now for your husband, if he was made aware of your post, I'd ask him to read these-

Your attitude is not a mental illness

Embracing the embracer

3 things, happy marriage, hobby and spirit

Forgiveness and forgetting

Caring for your "well" partner

Other than that relationship counselling can be invaluable.  Good luck and post anytime.  Tony WK

[geoff]

hi, welcome to this site and thanks for posting your comment.

By overcoming PTSD is not an easy experience, and in a marriage it's tended to be held in, because we don't want to keep inundating our spouse with the same thoughts over and over again.

I say 'we' here because I've still got it according to my psychologist, but it doesn't seem to worry me, as I live alone.

Could I suggest that you click onto 'Resources' at the top of the page and order the 'Printed Material' from BB, it's all free, but very valuable information, and if he has a chance to read it or any of it then that maybe the spark so that he get some help.

I can't make that decision for you whether you ask him to move out, but I understand your predicament. L Geoff. x