Crossroads. Advice from others

[Yana21]

I wanted some advice on where to go from here.

If anyone has read my post about my husband having depression and now paranoid thoughts etc. Been together for over 11 years and now we are 27(me) 33(hubby).

Hes not set on meds. Hes gone through ups and downs with meds etc since before our relationship started.

Now last 2 years hes gone through psychosis. And we have baby number two due in 3 months.

Im struggling. Its effecting my mental health and has since day one. We cant communicate like we once did as hes believing everything hes going through and never gives 100% to getting better. Now im feeling differently. I dont see myself being able to continueto do this.

I feel selfish. Im just not happy anymore and have tried everything to move forward.

My question is to other partners would you move on? I feel like i need to put my kids first. 4 yr old and bubs thats due soon. This isn't something I want them to contiune to go through with me and get effected by either.

If you could go back would you leave? Does it ever get better? Is there any other advice?

I dont have any other support from his side. I dont know how to treat him. Do i just throw him out? I tried talking and getting him to understand that i cant see a future anymore but hes not getting it.

Is this decision putting my kids first? I feel horrible as i dont want to take their dad anyway but i dont feel hopeful . Hes in denial about how hes feeling and refusing help. Again. Been there done that.

Advice?

[quirkywords]

Yana

Thanks for reaching out and writing this honest post.

I am not a partner but someone who has had bipolar for many years.

I do know it is hard for someone with a mental illness and hard for their loved ones especially the partner.

I am wondering if you have ever spoken to a psychologist or a counsellor.

Also have you ever spoken to other carers. It can help to share experiences. I kno you are asking here for advice .

It is very difficult to look after your children's needs your own needs and your husband.

It can be tricky with getting the right medications to help us. For me it took many years of denial before I started taking medication.

Can you find a time to talk to your husband when he is feeling ok.? When he is unwell he will have trouble understanding what you say.

The main thing is you need help and support for yourself. You may feel strong but you need to look after yourself and get support. You are pregnant and maybe now is not the time to be making big changes. You need to be calm and healthy.

Take care

Quirky

[Yana21]

Hi Quirky,

Thanks for getting back to me.

Regarding counselling yes. We have done it. Both sperately and together. Im not deciding to leave now. I dont want to do something rash while im pregnant and not have him there for the birth etc. I wouldn't hurt him like that no way.

Im just trying to plan ahead. Once my baby arrives and setting myself up financially with my kids as well as mentally.

I love this guy. But hes not the same man anymore. We have tried talking more than i can count on both hands.

Yesturday was no exception. I cried. He cried. I think we both are just so broken by this.

He told me he feels this way daily. The thoughts of feeling unworthy, the voices in his head. Him not trusting anyone. That not everything can be a coincidence. That our 4 year old cant possibly be so bright and say numbers etc. That theres way he thinks shes not herself. That a tracker could be on her. That someone is trying to harm her. And shes not her.

He wanted a CT scan done to her to confirm this. Of course i argued and he just laughs st