Hi there,
I'm new here.
Hopefully I can give a quick rundown with what's going on with me and why I've chosen to reach out...
My brother (in his 40's) has been diagnosed with depression since his 20's.
He also has a number of chronic health issues that have contributed to this as well as bullying issues from the past (high school days) and so on...
Although I'm not his carer (he still lives at home with our parents) I tend to offer whatever support I can by listening to him and texting/emailing (we don't live that close).
Since November last year, his psych has decided to change his medication so, needless to say, things have been as rocky as ever since then.
I always say the lines of communication are always open with me and that I'm here to listen, always, however the last few months I feel myself becoming effected by the lows he has been feeling and find myself becoming more and more distracted, even anxious as to his well being, day to day.
This transition 'issues' to these new meds have been relentless and it seems that he may have a few days of feeling passable when he hits another low, again, and again.
I feel so selfish even writing how it effects me when I know he's going through an agonising time right now, not to mention my poor parents who deal with this day in and day out.
I'm finding that my distraction with this is having a ripple effect on my own family. I'm a mum to to kids and I need to focus on them and my husband, but it's so tricky at them moment. I find in bad tempered (due to more disappointment) as soon as I hear my brother has hit another low or he texts me to tell me how 'terrible' his life is.
I am starting to feel guilty about having any 'fun' in my life as I know that things are anything but fun for him. Anything enjoyable planned lately feels melancholy for me as I can't shake my worry about his situation.
I'm supposed to go on a little holiday with my husband and kids in a few weeks and I want to be present and happy around them, but I fear I will be gripped by anxiety and guilt about my brother's current situation whilst away. How frivolous it seems to be having a holiday at such a challenging time....
I'm sorry, this wasn't meant to be an essay.
I'm just wondering if someone had some strategies for me to help me cope with all of this?
Perhaps any ideas on how to try and control my responses to a situation I simply can't control??
I'm feeling bewildered and overwhelmed.
Thanks So much
