Concerned for my angry brother

[mayellie1]

Hi guys

Just looking for some ideas for my brother. He has been battling depression for the past 3 years with various highs and lows. He's currently experiencing a pretty low point with a lot of dark thoughts and explosive anger issues. He seems to have lost respect for family members and friends and is quick to react in an aggressive way when in conversations (e.g. quick to raise his voice, swearing, hanging up phone calls, storming out, etc). He can also look to pick a fight with others, particularly after alcohol is involved. 

To his family, he is much kinder, calmer and easier to reason with when he hasn't been drinking. He almost becomes a different person when drinking. Looking for some advice to approach the idea of giving up alcohol for a certain amount of time.. Has anyone had success with this with aggressive people in your life?

He spends a lot of time alone as he drives for a living so is left alone with his own thoughts for much of most days. Along with this, he has a poor diet and rarely does any physical exercise. I know there are heavy links to depression with poor diet and low physical activity but again, he seems unwilling to change of these elements to help himself.

Basically just looking for advice or ideas from those dealing with someone similar on how to bring him out of the dark place he is in and open to ideas and the positives in life. I know it's not that simple but we have serious concerns for him and we are looking for anything that may be helpful.

Thanks in advance 

[white knight]

Hi mayellie welcome

Unfortunately you cant make an adult seek help. You can try. I'd pick my time right though. When he is down but quiet and sad. Then be close, try to say - "you're my brother, I love you dearly, can you let me accompany you to the doctor and we can sort this aggression and sadness out?"

Denial and unapproachability are serious issues for loved ones.

Failing that you dont have any way of helping.

You could ask him to read my response if you like.

But your concern is valid. There are more male suicides in Australia than the national road toll.  And my brother went that way. You are being a wonderful sister.

Tony WK

[pipsy]

Hi mayellie1.  The only thing I can suggest, have you tried Al anon.  They are there for families with someone with alcohol abuse problems.  They may be able to suggest some coping strategies.  WK is right in that you can't make your brother seek help.  Al anon will help you deal with your brother's drinking and abuse.  Maybe once you talk to al anon, your brother will realize you're trying to help him, maybe not.  Alcohol abuse, coupled with depression can make life pretty intolerable for the sufferer and those directly connected with him.  His aggression could be directed at himself because he feels inadequate that he can't cope with whatever's troubling him.  He lashes out rather than admit he needs help.  Admitting you need help can sometimes be seen as a form of weakness.

See if Al anon can help you.