Class refusal year 7

Sheree

Our son started yr 7 at a much larger school than primary school. In the first day he had a panic attack once he was at school.
school started on a Friday which allowed his anxiety to build up and on the Monday he was under the desk in his room in a ball crying and rocking about not wanting to go to school.
we can get him to school but not class. He can’t explain to us why he can’t.
most nights his anxiety hits about going the next day with Sunday being the worst. Telling us he can’t do like anymore etc.

he had no issues attending primary school and is social.
we are doing the tough love and making him go. He sits in the library or wellbeing office. The school is good and trying but they only have so many resources.
he was attending a large catholic high school but worked out quick they were not a great help so moved him to a much smaller public high school which he tells us he likes.
we don’t know if keeping pushing, keep attending psychologist appointments and hope he can fight whatever is going on in his head or enrol into online school and take away that class pressure.
if anyone has had a similar experience I would love to hear.

indigo22

Hi,

Welcome and thank you for reaching out to us.

I suspect that your son may be what is called a HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) as am I and a number of people on the forums.

This means that the things that barely affect others, can feel very uncomfortable for a HSP.

It may be that there are some children from dysfunctional homes that are either exuding negative energy or modeling their home environment in some way with words, anger or behaviour.

You can read more about this subject by looking up Elaine Aron HSP on the internet to see if your son seems to fit the description. If he does, have a talk with him about his emotions and feelings, see if he can describe what it is that he feels when he is at school. I suspect this is the reason he cannot verbalise it, because it is not something external, but internal that is affecting him.

There are things that can help but the first step is to research this a little to see if there is a connection.

I am happy to continue the conversation if you wish.

Take care,

indigo

Sheree

Thank you for replying I will definitely have a look into this.

indigo22

Hi Sheree,

I would be interested to hear back from you when you have looked into it.

Take care in the meantime,

indigo

just-a-Dad

Hi

definitely keep Him at School, if it’s possible.

indigo22 Has a very valid point because I thought a similar thing when I read your post, I was thinking it could possibly be Asperger’s autism because it’s very similar to the lower scale of autism, can, however, cause sensory overload, all of a sudden in an unfamiliar environment.

you need to reassure him that everybody has difficult parts in their life, and we all struggle from time to time, failing is part of life, but giving up is not, Encouragement is what he needs, and let him know he always says you support, no matter what, and I mean by saying, those exact words to him.

as a family, there’s nothing you can achieve together, no matter how long it takes.

there is a shortcut you can do, as he is year seven find out who the tough crowd is in year 9 and 10, The year 8s will already know who they are, and the year sevens are learning quickly who they are, approach the year 10 tough guy and give him a proposal; offer him 50 bucks now and another 50 bucks in two months time, if he accidentally bumps into you and your son on the next day of school, make sure you introduce himself and shake your sons hand in the cool way they currently do, tell him to offer walking you both to his class.

let him know you don’t want him to turn your son into one of the tough guys you just want to pay for a service for your Child Protection, tell him to get the year nine tough kid involved, and to make sure all the kids at the school see your son with them every now, and then on brief occasions (those tough kids would’ve had a hard time to at some point, even though they’ll never admit it, they will actually want to help whilst pretending it’s just for the money to their other friends) it’s probably not the most ethical way, but it does work because one of the most stresses a Child has especially a boy, starting high school is the fear of getting bashed.

my son started year 7 this year every single week. Somebody has been best already, and he’s a strong boy with great morals, but it’s still made him nervous.

there once the other guys have calmed him down by him being seen with connected people he can focus more on his academics, and if you see him starting to stress Again, just remember what every teenage boy wants!!!

hang in there and keep doing what you’re doing, because you’re obviously seeking advice to do the right thing by your son, and you should be proud of yourself.

I know paying the tough kid at school is probably not the most noble of quests, but heck, if it helps him, just feel a bit calmer, so he can achieve great things in life so what.

kind regards

Just a DaD