Breaking through to sister

[DL2016]

Hi all, thank you in advance for any advice and I hope this is the right section.

I want to share about my sisters recent severe panic attack and hospitalisation, please note it could be distressing to read.

I was with my sister in our hotel room with my 1yo bub when she had her second major panic attack. It was extreme with screaming, kicking etc. I called 000 and she is now in hospital. I know there are a few major stressors and specific fears that I think trigger this and one of them being the fear of being back in hospital again and "locked in" because she's crazy. There is a family history of schizophrenia and bipolar but she has had testing and only been diagnosed with anxiety. She is mid 40s.

I have had personal experience with anxiety but not to this level. I have tried to visit and call but she does not want to talk. I respect this completely. I am now back interstate where I live and am wondering what I do next?

Is there any ideas on what I could do to "breakthrough to her" or do I just keep calling every day and allow it to take as long as it takes?

I did think about writing a letter so it could be on her terms to communicate back to me?

thanks

donna

[pipsy]

Hi Donna. Your sister is probably terrified where she is in hospital, so communication from you would be fabulous. Even though you've tried to visit, she may be a bit embarrassed as having such a severe panic attack, even though she was with you, she may still feel a bit uncomfortable because (to her) you saw her when she so unwell. Perhaps, at this stage a 'get well' card with your contact number inviting her to ring. I would just say something like, if you wish to call, I would love to hear from you, and perhaps reiterating you love her. You sound like an extremely loving, caring sister and I'm sure once she's well again, you two will be as close as ever. Do you have a photo of the two of you together, smiling, being happy? If you do, perhaps you could enclose this with the card. A smile says 1000 things that words can't.

Lynda.

[Zeal]

Hi Donna,

I very much endorse what Lynda has said!

You have been hugely supportive, and your sister is certainly lucky to have such a caring and compassionate sibling! My sister and I aren't close (I've had OCD for 10 years), and I would have loved to have a closer sibling relationship.

Being confined to a hospital room/ward can feel isolating and a tad depressing at times. As well as being available to talk on the phone (and to visit if your sister feels comfortable with that yet), sending things to keep her occupied is ideal. Even though she may not be in the mood to do much, having nothing to do can lead to boredom and then overthinking/more anxiety. Perhaps send a book with lovely travel pictures, a few of her favourite novels (that aren't too heavy-going) and even some DVD's (if she has a laptop or access to a DVD player). Newspapers could help her to feel in touch with the outside world. Also, the puzzles at the back of the paper can be fun.

I hope your sister is doing alright, and that you are doing well considering the stress of what's happened.

Best wishes,

SM

[geoff]

dear Donna, I concur with what Pipsy and SM have said, but there does become an embarrassing factor here as she had been screaming and kicking in the hotel room, so to be taken to hospital and 'locked in' would be disstressing for her, so she may feel some guilt but certainly embarrassed.
You are a caring sister and want to help her but she won't let this happen, however if you send her a card as suggested and then don't try and contact her for a day or so, so that this time she will have time to think but after a couple of days she may then want to see you, but for you to travel back and forth from interstate is going to be very tiring for you and your young child, so on the card leave your phone number.
What you can try and do is contact the psych who is overseeing her so that you know how she is getting on, and whether or not she is going to be released.
Sorry I have only repeated what the others have said. Geoff. x