BPD son in prison, I’m over it

[Sunflower62]

My son has been arrested for the second time. He was arrested in 2015, trial and sentencing in 2016, released 2018. I believed him when he said he didn’t do it. He has BPD. I thought he had turned the corner and was getting his life on track. Had started studying, got a job, seemed to be ok. Then last week he was arrested again. He went before a judge, remanded in custody until end of April, no bail. His name suppressed. I don’t know what he has been charged with but have been told it’s serious. I don’t know what to think or what to do. I don’t think I know my son at all. I know longer trust him, I really don’t want to deal with it but there is no one else. I’m angry and sad. Other than my partner nobody knows. I’d rather he just didn’t exist anymore. I’m a terrible mother for thinking.

[Guest_7403]

Hopefully as the time goes by in prison he'll learn remorse and accept what he's done to its full extent.

Just an fyi interstate calls are charged at mobile rates in prison so he will likely get upset about that too.

If you think he's going to react poorly in person give the officers a heads up before he enters and they'll move your table closer to them etc

[Nameless1]

Hi Sunflower

I wish you all the best for the move and a fresh start.
Maybe calls and emails will be better . I guess you can travel and make the occasional visits if you want to or need to .
It is a difficult time in your life and I hope you find some peace. I don’t think they realise what they put us through.

I hope all goes okay with the visit.

Thinking of you.
Nameless1

[Nameless1]

Hi Guest 7403 and sunflower62

That advice sounds good Guest 7403 as always. We have valued your advice . Good to have your posts again. It’s been a while so hope you are okay.
It’s so hard to know what reactions will be. We didn’t have the opportunity to visit our son at all because of Covid but the short time we did he didn’t ask us to visit when he suggested it. Just before he came out on parole he said maybe he should have asked and maybe should have tried to contact more people but at the time just was dealing with the every day things of life in prison and didn’t want to really know what was happening at home . Maybe sunflower your son will feel like that too .
He still doesn’t contact anyone except his direct family and girlfriend as far as visit or have people over, but of course don’t know who he messages etc .

rather

[Kitty5678]

Hi Sunflower,

Firstly I am sorry you feel like this and I think I know how you are feeling.

our 18 yr old son was arrested last week on an aggrevated robbery charge.

 He suffers depression and anxiety and while he has told us ' his story' I feel there is more to it.

We haven't told anyone and we are not sleeping, my anxiety is through the roof and I don't want to see or talk to anyone.

We have a lawyer but waiting for the court date is so hard.

I feel like I can't trust what he is saying and I'm fearing that more than the crime now.

Do you feel like this?

[Nameless1]

Hi there!! 
I think everyone who goes through this with their son goes through the same feelings. How is it all going for you. 
Don’t lose hope. Things can turn around as it has for my son now 4 years on. Keep praying and hoping and supporting  him.

nameless 1