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Sophie_M Parents and caregivers: How are you feeling about the social media restrictions for under 16s?
  • replies: 2

Hey everyone, It’s hard to miss the talk around the new social media restrictions for under 16s, set to roll out across Australia in early December. We’ve heard from some of the younger members of our community, and now we’d love to hear from parents... View more

Hey everyone, It’s hard to miss the talk around the new social media restrictions for under 16s, set to roll out across Australia in early December. We’ve heard from some of the younger members of our community, and now we’d love to hear from parents and caregivers. For some, this change might feel like a welcome relief - a clearer way to manage social media use and protect young people. For others, there may be concerns about how it will affect access to online support, questions around how age verification will actually work, or frustration and powerlessness over a decision beyond our control. All of these feelings are valid. If you’re a parent or caregiver, or you have some young people in your life that will be affected by these restrictions, how are you feeling about this change? We’ve created this space for anyone caring for young people to share their thoughts, ask questions, and support each other through the uncertainty of the months ahead.Kind regardsSophie M

Carmela Are you supporting a depressed partner? My tips from 18 years of experience
  • replies: 41

This list has been compiled from experiences supporting my husband with depression. There is no one size fits all, so please take what you are comfortable with based on your circumstances and resources. 1. Reach out to family and/or friends to feel s... View more

This list has been compiled from experiences supporting my husband with depression. There is no one size fits all, so please take what you are comfortable with based on your circumstances and resources. 1. Reach out to family and/or friends to feel supported - this also covers support groups - online or face to face. Don't let stigma stop you from reaching out. 2. Relationship boundaries - identify what is acceptable and not. My general platform is that physical abuse is unacceptable as well as regular demeaning/berating comments. Communicate this openly so everyone understands. 3. Coping tools - this could be exercise, meditation, reading a book, meeting friends, etc. They are important for your mental health. 4. Knowledge is power - research to understand about depression. The more you know, the better care you can provide. 5. Remember your partner in the good times - this is their true selves, not the darkness. 6. Listen and show receptivity - without judgement or anger. If communicate becomes strained, the timeout can provide clarity. Encourage communication gently and try not to push. 7. Seek counselling - sharing your feelings can provide an opportunity to off load the heavy stuff and identify resilience and coping strategies. 8. Work as a team - don't let mental illness be in the driver's seat. Offer to go to the Dr's and support them. Understand medication and side effects. Be understanding that some days are harder than others. 9. Words are powerful - remember what you say cannot be taken back. 10. Carer Self-esteem and self-worth - if you compromise these for the sake of supporting your partner, you are likely to live with resentment towards your partner and the circumstances you find yourself in. 11. Don't forget the children - challenging circumstances at home can affect them mentally and emotionally. Speak about mental illness (COPMI.com.au - has some great resources) and be a strong foundation toward maintaining normality in their daily activities. 12. Intimacy - there are many variables here, so from my experience - keep communication open and make couple time to connect. When my husband was depressed, daily hugs or holding hands wherever possible worked for us. Some carers I have spoken with said their partner would demand intimacy. My personal position is that intimacy is about love without demands or attachments relating to expectation. Demands only deplete the goodness in the connection and sharing a a loving experience. [Moderator's note: this thread is for sharing tips on what has worked for you in supported a loved one with a mental health condition. In order to help us keep this thread focused on solutions, please start a new thread if you are seeking support from the community around how to best support your loved one.]

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Ab66 Mother of a teenager with anxiety
  • replies: 8

My 15 year old daughter suffers with anxiety, but usually this is triggered by specific events and is reasonably manageable. 2 days ago she started shallow breathing and saying she felt like she was panicking but didn't know why. This continued throu... View more

My 15 year old daughter suffers with anxiety, but usually this is triggered by specific events and is reasonably manageable. 2 days ago she started shallow breathing and saying she felt like she was panicking but didn't know why. This continued throughout yesterday - we wondered whether it was a kind of asthma (my husband and other members of his family are asthmatic) and tried ventolin to no avail. The shallow breathing continued into the night and has only stopped when she (finally) fell asleep. Going to bed was an ordeal, with her becoming very agitated and saying she couldn't get comfortable and thrashing about. She calmed down at the suggestion of sleeping on a mattress on the floor in our bedroom, but continued to shallow breath once there until she fell asleep. There was no apparent trigger for the panic attack - it followed a relaxed family outing that we'd had and which she really enjoyed. Not sure what to do or what advice people can provide. The experience last night was quite distressing. She's already on anxiety medication to control headaches and assist with sleep- don't want her over medicated.

BPB Support Group in Adelaide
  • replies: 1

Is there a support group in Adelaide for victims of abuse from family members who have Mental Health issues?

Is there a support group in Adelaide for victims of abuse from family members who have Mental Health issues?

Mary_Rose Staying on top, while caring for others
  • replies: 6

Hi all, I'm new here. I would like to ask is there anyone here that may care for a child or adult with challenging needs. While I try to look after myself ( depression, general anxiety etc) I also have a 14 yr old son that has Autism. Sometimes I fin... View more

Hi all, I'm new here. I would like to ask is there anyone here that may care for a child or adult with challenging needs. While I try to look after myself ( depression, general anxiety etc) I also have a 14 yr old son that has Autism. Sometimes I find I don't have enough fuel in my tank to keep going, of course, I do whatever that may look like from day to day. However, I feel at times I just get through one day to face the other.

SubduedBlues My head hurts and my heart aches
  • replies: 6

I noticed six more new people online who are considering self harm and/or are very depressed. Each one I read through their stories. And with each story I read, I feel more and more sad that these people are finding life so tuff and having seemingly ... View more

I noticed six more new people online who are considering self harm and/or are very depressed. Each one I read through their stories. And with each story I read, I feel more and more sad that these people are finding life so tuff and having seemingly no-one to speak with. I click on the reply button, but cannot seem to get past the stock-standard: "welcome to BB and thanks for posting." I am staring at a blank screen with no useful thoughts or words coming to mind, it is as if my brain is empty. Maybe it is not knowing if the others I tried to help were actually helped. I find that I am feeling overwhelmed with self doubt as to whether there is any help in what I write. Perhaps there is just too much pain online today, this week, this season. I don't know. I just know that my head hurts, my heart feels deadened by their cries for help, and I sit here unable to help. This feeling of helplessness reminds me of the darkness of despair; helplessness frightens me; being helpless is akin to being worthless. How am I to guide anyone to the light, if I myself have lost sight of the light? Misplaced.

ezza11 Partner self medicates
  • replies: 3

I have been with my boyfriend for 7-8 years. Around 3 years ago, he was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. He has been on anti-depressants since then. However, he struggles with seeking help from a psychologist as doesn't find it helpful. This ye... View more

I have been with my boyfriend for 7-8 years. Around 3 years ago, he was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. He has been on anti-depressants since then. However, he struggles with seeking help from a psychologist as doesn't find it helpful. This year we have been on and off due to problems with always arguing over things in particular issues that related to the depression/anxiety, and hypersexuality. He has gone back to 2 psychologist appointments the last month or two, and have suggested that he is bipolar and to take the necessary steps to be diagnosed officially including going back to GP to address medication, and referring to the Black Dog institute. The problems have been that although he has gone back to the psychologist and back to the GP, he has admitted to lying to them about some of the problems. He drinks excessively, and about 5-6 days a week, he will drink at least half a bottle of spirits, or more than 6 beers (+ the spirits), or bottles of wine. On weekends, this amount will increase substantially. He uses the excuse that he isn't drunk because his body can now tolerate such large amounts. He has also increased his smoking again, and relies on it substantially when he drinks, but when he needs to get through stressful times. Recently, i have found that he is taking his painkillers again. He does not have any pain, but has said he just uses them to make him feel relaxed, and cope with things as it relaxes/numbs him. He has nearly gone through a whole packet (40) in a week, as well as drinking every night. From this poor life style choices and a side effect from some of the medication, he has gained over 20-30kg in the last 1-2 years, and has said that this affects him negatively as well, and hates being like this. I want to support him so much, and i offer to go with him to all the necessary doctor appointments if I can. I just don't know what to do when he doesn't see the self medication as a problem and "not a big deal, it's not that bad". I am happy that he has gone back to the psychologist (from numerous conversations we have had) and GP, but the lying to them about what he does, or his actions outside, or how he really feels makes it feel very limited to the success. I understand that all I can do is be supportive, and talk to him about things, but I would love some advice if anyone has gone through something similar, and what is something helpful i should do, or even what i shouldn't do to help.

BPB Is this normal?
  • replies: 6

Long story short, I am the third of four children. Oldest brother with seven year age gap had severe mental health issues and was violent daily to me and my parents did not believe me. It started when I was 10 years old. my education was ruined, in m... View more

Long story short, I am the third of four children. Oldest brother with seven year age gap had severe mental health issues and was violent daily to me and my parents did not believe me. It started when I was 10 years old. my education was ruined, in many respects my life was a disaster. I had no support from parents who in the 1980's hid everything. i was the victim of knife attacks, beatings, and torture. I would protect my mum and younger sister at all costs to my own well being. Violence was a natural thing. when I was 21 my brother died, natural causes. my parents turned their protection to my sister who also seemed to display severe mental health issues. even now my mum will not listen to me and will side with my sister no matter what. I am now 48 and I have never exposed my wife or children to violence if any manner. I do not condone violence of any sort. my oldest daughter went to the uk to visit her grandmother and was assaulted by my sister and her boyfriend. again my mum would not listen to my daughter or me. I continue to suffer the most horrendous abuse from my sister. I no longer respond. i do not believe this to be normal but I have never experienced anything like this from anyone other than my family (not my wife or children). I guess I just need someone apart from my wife to tell me it is not normal to be treated this way? thanks

Trying____ Mixed messages
  • replies: 10

Hi everyone, My husband was diagnosed with depression (major) early year and put on medication which as he says doesn't allow for the lows but also numbs him completely. He is also a shift worker so doesn't take them at regular times and sometimes go... View more

Hi everyone, My husband was diagnosed with depression (major) early year and put on medication which as he says doesn't allow for the lows but also numbs him completely. He is also a shift worker so doesn't take them at regular times and sometimes goes days without them to 'feel normal' but then he crashes and sleeps for days on end. He definitely wants and needs a new management (he agrees) but motivation to move on a new plan is limited. Even when he is medicated he has very little motivation in bouts and I am cleaning cooking etc and constantly picking up after him. I have to wonder if I am 'enabling' his behaviour in a way? Or is this the level of support needed? I just feel more like a maid than wife now (clearly the depression and then medication killed any form of intimacy). When he needs to do something (family catch ups etc) he will do it. He seems all bubbly but tells me it's a struggle, but with me it feels like he doesn't even try. And then he gets snappy if I try to prompt him to do things he has wanted to do for weeks.... He wants to see a new doctor and I have made the appointment for him as he let it drag out for another two weeks. I am just confused, frustrated, hurt, rejected. I know this is the illness, not him. Is it a little 'him' though? When I tell him I am concerned about him sleeping for 18 hours a day he tells me he is fine and just having a few rest days (this is usually after a week of limited slepp patterns). Any advice would be so appreciated. Two years on (diagnosed, I would guess another two before that) and I just don't know if anything is really moving forward. Thanks

Genki Groundhog day
  • replies: 1

I have a 22 year old daughter with Bipolar 1 diagnosed 3 years ago after a psychotic manic episode landed her in hospital. Since then she has been hospitalised every six months, a different scenario each time, but mostly related to poor compliance wi... View more

I have a 22 year old daughter with Bipolar 1 diagnosed 3 years ago after a psychotic manic episode landed her in hospital. Since then she has been hospitalised every six months, a different scenario each time, but mostly related to poor compliance with medication and complete lack of insight. She hasn't been able to work or study as she is either recovering from an episode or moving into the next episode. We've mainly been in the public system due to the severity of her episodes and recently got her well enough to go into a private hospital. She managed within three weeks to get two other patients kicked out and then herself kicked out. Only outcome was a new medication that doesn't cause weight gain and a new psychiatrist that she seems to like. Apart from minor glimpses of wellness when she is adorable, she is a nightmare to live with. She can sit and do nothing but pick her split ends for days, she is irritable and angry and sometimes aggressive and suicidal and generally she has poor sleep patterns so bangs around the house when we are all trying to sleep. To top off three years of this merry go round this Christmas Day she became psychotic and tried to jump out of my car on a freeway (to save her soul her dream told her). The only thing that saved her was my foresight to lock the car doors, I then pulled off the freeway and headed to the nearest police station to get help while we called an ambulance. My 13 year old son was in the car and this is not the first time he has had to witness such a distressing scene. I don't want my daughter living at home with my son, she had been living with relatives who are fed up and have felt threatened by her when she's irritable and aggressive. But I know if she has nowhere safe to live things will only get worse. Some people say she needs to fall and pick herself up and I can't be her safety net all the time but would you let your daughter fall if it meant she could accidentally or deliberately kill herself, I can't. It is an impossible situation.

Cgurl Trying to see into the future with bipolar spouse, help!
  • replies: 1

Hi all, Long time reader, first time poster. Thank you to all who post on here, it is so great to know there is support out there. Wanting to reach out to those who have been married to bipolar males long term (or to experienced bipolar suffers). I a... View more

Hi all, Long time reader, first time poster. Thank you to all who post on here, it is so great to know there is support out there. Wanting to reach out to those who have been married to bipolar males long term (or to experienced bipolar suffers). I am 27 and have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, he has bipolar 2. He is medicated and consistently sees a psychiatrist however still has up/down periods monthly which, so far, he says has been manageable. I have been consistently educating myself on the condition since he was diagnosed and feel confident around when the 'bipolar' is talking and we work together to manage it. I love my partner and can see us getting married however I have strong fears when i start thinking 5-10 years down the track and therefore, wanted to ask the group for some insights/advice. We are at a point now where life is relatively 'easy', no kids, stable jobs, living together and our own friends/hobbies. However, as life gets more complicated and we have more challenges I fear the condition may be in danger of coming between us. Wanting to therefore speak to those who have lived the experience for years. Sorry for the ramble, I guess my questions/fears are: 1. Does the 'project mode' severely impact children? ie. During times where he will want to spend whole weekends/school holidays working on his projects, how do you explain that to children? Does the frequency required for that time dial down when other responsibilities are there vs without them? 2. Hypomania and wanting to leave a relationship, does 'commitment' to a person override those inclinations long term? 3. If medication regimes have suddenly stopped working, have they been pre-empted by a particular event or happen randomly? 4. Does the dependence on 'non-medical' substances decrease over time as confidence in managing the condition/medication efficacy increases? 5. Any other 'red flags' post marriage to watch out for... Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

Mumma_of_2 Husband in a dark place
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone. This is my first time posting but have been reading the threads for quite a while. I was hoping to get some advice. My husband left me a month ago suddenly when we werent fighting and with no warning. Since then he has spiralled into a d... View more

Hi everyone. This is my first time posting but have been reading the threads for quite a while. I was hoping to get some advice. My husband left me a month ago suddenly when we werent fighting and with no warning. Since then he has spiralled into a dark path and I really dont know what to do. He is staying with family at their hotel and has been drinking excessively, keeping to himself and sometimes what he says does not make sense. My husband was a very caring loving man and was a wonderful father to our 2 children. For the last month he has barely seen them and doesnt make an effort to keep in touch. He has told me that everything is to much and he wants to give up. He is sensitive to loud noises and runs off to be by himself when something is too loud. I booked him an appointment to see a gp today and he will be starting counselling and going to a psychiatrist. I guess my question is what else should i do to help me? He is such a kind hearted man and is in such a bad place at the moment.