Baby due & husband suffering severe OCD

Rarabel · ‎07-01-2016

Just wondering what I should do. My husband has OCD but has been much worse lately, probably with the uncertainty of a new baby coming in the next couple of weeks.

Normally I am his ear but I can't cope with it at the moment and feel I need to be in a happy head space in order to cope with the birth. I also have two other children at home which keeps me busy.

We can't afford psychiatric care at the moment either money wise or timewise as we've just come back from holidays and my husband is holding fort at work while his boss is on leave.

He takes medication, but went down to a low dose which he is trying to rectify.

I've suggested he join this forum and talk to other sufferers. Does anyone know, are we alone? Are there other family men who silently battle this awful mental disorder? Every day from the time his alarm goes off is a mental battle.

I feel so sorry for him but don't know what to do anymore. Please help.

pipsy · ‎07-01-2016

Dear Rarabel. Your hubby is not alone with this disorder. There are lots of people who have it including some of the councillors on this site. Could your hubby go back to his Dr to get some guidance or review. With any meds reviews are standard practise to make sure everything is okay. OCD and preparing for a baby would make him feel very alone, and scared. I would suggest you have a look on the forums as well as seeing if he will go back to the Dr for review. Was he advised to lower the dose or did he just do it.

Rarabel · ‎07-01-2016

Thanks Pipsy for your reply.

I don't know why he went off his meds but it happened a year ago and he couldn't stay off.

He was on a moderate dose but forgot when he decided to go back on while we were away over Xmas that you are supposed to do it in 50 g increments and it made him so wired (he went straight to 150g)! It was then I asked about his meds as I had no idea any of this had happened and was finding his behaviour very odd.

I also spoke to the pharmacist to get her opinion and she concurred with what the psychiatrist had said about increasing/decreasing doses.

Do you know of any free counselling just to get him through this difficult patch?

pipsy · ‎07-01-2016

Hi Rarabel. I'm sure if he goes back to the Dr, he will sort out the situation. The Dr put him on the meds, he is the best adviser. Perhaps if you ring the BB helpline, they have a 24/7 service, maybe there is someone there who could help. Can I ask how the OCD affects him? There is a counsellor Geoff, who has OCD, he may be able to advise him. Geoff is one of BB's online counsellors.

I don't want to advise you wrong, so I'd rather try to guide you to getting the right help.

Rarabel · ‎07-01-2016

Thanks so much! I'll try to get in touch with Geoff.

His ocd is about losing things mainly. He has to check and recheck everything to make sure he hasn't left anything valuable and then the thoughts go with him when he walks away.

When he's really bad he can't even eat without checking his food to make sure nothing "valuable" is in it. Showering is painful because there's the risk of "things" going down the drain. When his alarm goes off its absolutely horrible for him because he knows he has to face another day of checking, doubting and dread.

He comes home from work mentally and physically exhausted and goes straight to bed.

He knows it's irrational and hates that it stops him living a normal life. When OCD is under control he is happy, confident and achieves so much!

pipsy · ‎07-01-2016

Hi Rarabel. Once he's back on his meds and possibly has been in contact with Geoff, he'll probably start to settle down. He could be a bit concerned that the baby might have contracted OCD. I would check with your Dr a.s.a.p. to find out how soon to test for that. OCD, if left unchecked could really cause you both unnecessary worry with a baby to consider.

Rarabel · ‎09-01-2016

Thanks so much for all your help, I think he is concerned about the baby contracting ocd.

Will definitely get back in touch with his doctor.

Do you know how we can contact Geoff?

pipsy · ‎09-01-2016

Hi Rarabel. If you look at Community Board: computer problems, he sent me a suggestion re: my computer.

Good luck.

susie1 · ‎09-01-2016

Hi Rarabel,

My husband has OCD too and it is really stressful for me. its nice to be able to relate to someone who is also a carer, it can be quite isolating. our relationship is quite rocky, we have just married (been together for 6 years) and moving in together has caused all sorts of problems. My husband also checks and rechecks everything and cannot be in formal employment, although he won't seek help and we are not supported by his family at all. I believe that men with this illness should support eachother because it is very isolating for them too to live with this condition.

pipsy · ‎09-01-2016

Hi to Susie 1 & Rarabel. I think the hardest part is when the person with OCD either won't admit it or can't face it. Anything to do with mental health these days is still being seen as a phobia by people who don't understand it. Aspergers is seen as scary by those who don't understand it. It's sad particularly for you, Susie when your in-laws don't support, but it's possibly because they're scared of what they don't understand. If you could get some reading material on the subject, it might help them. Rarabel, were you able to contact Geoff? If you and Susie are 'there' for each other, you won't feel quite so isolated, also knowing BB is here, that also helps.