I am in a 5 year long distance relationship with someone who we have now discovered is depressed and has avoidant disorder. In the beginning everything was great, our relationship was next to perfect, we saw each other every other wkend, spent all free time together. 1 year ago my daughter moved into his home to finish her university and now our world has fallen apart. He's a 50 yr old man who has lived on his own. Cannot handle 22 yr old step-daughter in house with him. Retreats to his room, has become depressed and has gone out and signed up for therapy. In the meantime he has asked me for time and space. says he still loved me, is in love with me, and is attracted to me, but has now cut off almost all communication with me. Cant answer any questions I ask, avoids avoids avoids. But when I do see him I can see how sad he is, he shows me a little affection, but if I'm around too long, more than a couple of days he retreats again. To the point he will try and sleep on the far end of the bed with his pillow all cinched up. I NEED HELP !!! Will therapy help him ? Will he come back to me ?? He cannot even answer a simple question as to whether or not I should come over, wants me to decide, doesn't matter. Before he couldn't get enough of me. He has read all about avoidant personality and he agrees its him to a ''tee''. I just do not know what to do, do I coddle him and love him and support him or do I let him slip away ? Will he come back to me and be the person I initially fell in love with, this new person is like Jeykle and Hyde. Anyone who is a spouse/partner of an avoidant please let me know if he will pull out of this.. please let me know if when he doesn't answer to see me should I stay away ? Please let me know if I should continue to text/phone him... I am lost and love him sooo much
