Anxious Family

[Mainstay]

Son says has symptoms of schizophrenia.He's intelligent; handsome; artistic; insomniac; risk taker; elite sportsman; ;impulsive;charming;witty;thirsty for knowledge;angry;verbally aggressive;loner.World class athlete, gained a lot of attention.Then chronic fatigue glandular fever his world fell apart he changed.Now he has photography takes off at ridiculous times to climb Mountain 5100 feet sits on summit until dawn and captures it on camera.When buying, item must be the best even though he cannot afford.Credit card is always maxed out.He is a tradesman and won apprentice award every year.Told hes an artist and should be working on cathedrals.Fussy one day then next?Tells his dad he has terrible life,he wants to do better things not the life his dad has.Dad is methodical practical hard working provider.So admires him then disrespects. He reads book saying if he does what he loves and make a living from that and he won’t have to work another day in his life.My husband says not much and holds it in for the sake of peace at work. Our son and my husband were once close but now it’s like he wants to be the exact opposite of the man he admired. His first marriage failed.He has two daughters & is now in another relationship.He is aware that he has made so many mistakes in his life, not only with relationships, but with impulsive spending.As a little boy, you would never have known such an easier child to raise.He was so obedient, obliging & affectionate.Now he lashes out at his father and I.Dad is a gentle soul and does not really stand up to him, but he is easily hurt by the outbursts our son makes but for the sake of peace, we all walk on egg shells.Daughter is fed up with his behaviour.Our daughter does not look forward to these occasions as a family just in case he should explode.Two Christmases, he lost it and stormed out-the next day he comes back as though nothing had happened.Inability to say sorry.He sees me as the one to pay out on.I am always left feeling that he does not love me and am never good enough.His daughters are 6 and 7 see his behaviour sometimes and just look at us for support.We do not know what to say.We change the subject and make the atmosphere loving for them.We get along really well with our ex daughter-in-law and although our son sees the sense in this, at times, he also resents it and is always trying to find ways of showing her up.Then the next time he is singing her praises.He Loves his new inlaws they awesome for now in his mind.

[Neil_1]

Hi Mainstay

Wowee, this appears to be a very tricky situation that you're in.  And it's directly affecting yourself, your husband and your daughter.

I'm gathering that your son appears to live close by?

It sounds pleasing and positive that he gets on well with his new in-laws - although as you say, he's saying that "now".  That may well change further down the track.

I'm really unsure as to what to advise - in particular as it appeared that you may have needed to get this off your chest and just to unload;  as I couldn't see any real questions that you've posed.

But I will say again that this sounds like a very tricky and awkward situation - as you already know.

Mainstay, would I be correct in assuming that your perhaps Number One question would be:   "How do we deal with our son?"

I do hope there's other community members who stop by here as I haven't really been able to assist Mainstay too much on this.

Kind regards

Neil

[Pixie15]

Hi Mainstay,

You wrote in your post that your son said he has symptons of Schizophrenia. I am just wondering what the circumstances were. Was he trying to gain your sympathy or help?

If he is concerned the best thing you can do is encourage him to see a doctor.

Grateful

[AGrace]

Hi Mainstay,

I can understand how your family must feel they need to walk on eggshells. It sounds like your son has become quite confused in life. It also sounds like he's lost a bit of his sense of self and therefore clings to every new thing that comes along but doesn't necessarily see anything through.

You mentioned that your son thinks he has Schizophrenia, has he sought treatment for any mental illness in the past?

It sounds like you and your family are also having a difficult time with his behaviour, have you sought any counselling for yourselves at this stage? It could be worthwhile just for you to learn some better strategies to deal with your son's erratic and impulsive behaviour.

How does his new partner find him and their relationship? One would think she is also seeing signs that something's a little off.

Have you tried sitting down as a whole family and having an intervention with him? Sharing how you all feel and asking him how he is feeling might be an option.

You also mentioned that he has some unhealthy spending habits, are you and your husband having to help out with these bills? If so, I would definitely put a stop to this.

I know I've asked lots of questions here, it would be good if you could get back to us. I know it's been some time since your first post. We are always here.

AGrace