Adult daughter living at home with worsening anxiety and depression need advice and help

[nocturnal]

Hi all,

My current situation is that I have an 18 yr old daughter who will be turning 19 in a couple of weeks that I feel helpless with and am in desperate need of help and advice with. She first was diagnosed with anxiety and depression when she was around 12 yrs old and spent the next few years going first to a paediatrician then after that to a few psychologists over a period of around 3 years. She was on medication and after a while it became too difficult to her as she would go to her biological dads house and he would let her not take them. She then expressed how she didn't like herself and her face and body. Myself and my ex husband subsequently spent the next 2 years getting extensive orthodontic work done as we were fortunate enough to have the money at that time, in the hopes this would help her self esteem. Sadly it didn't.

She wasn't able to function in mainstream school and went downhill with it all and started self harming at around 16. She stopped going to school as it was probably easier for her to hide rather than face people and social situations and eventually stopped speaking to friends which weren't in the first place as they were never there for her when she asked them. It was around this time I split up with my husband of 14 years.

She then came to me one day and said she had heard about an alternative school which when I looked into also offered counselling once a week. Again I thought what a great opportunity and she was willing to go to the school. So we signed up 🙂 I again was thinking positively and was trying to encourage her. It all started going down hill when she starting not being bothered to go and also didn't want to see the in school counsellor.

She got a part time job and I thought this is awesome however she couldn't deal with the job and having to be social and subsequently quit. She stopped going to school all together and now had no job or income either.

Since then she has gone downhill significantly spending all her time on the sofa and in her bedroom not speaking or seeing anyone. She wont go outside and has no desire to achieve anything.It is breaking my heart to watch and really destroying us as a family unit. She now can't even make a phone call without getting upset and angry and out of control with the anxiety.

Please help I don't know where this path will lead for us all but I am worried as it has destroyed our life already and things desperately need to change.

[blondguy]

Hello Nocturnal

Welcome to the forums and thankyou for having the care and strength to post too!

You and your daughter have been on a roller coaster ride here. I was diagnosed with acute anxiety at 23 and it was a bad place to be in.....for a long while...(just fyi)

I understand what you have been going through as my daughter has self harmed and angry at the world and in her early 20's.

If I may ask you why your ex partner didnt allow your daughter take her meds? (sorry about the questions)...why did your daughter refuse to see the counselor?

Your daughter seems to be very strong especially asking to attend another school....She has reached out to you with another school....Your daughter is trying to cope...as well as you doing your best of course 🙂

Does your daughter have a couple of friends (support network) that she 'bounce' off?

The forums are a non judgemental zone..there are many kind people that can be here for you (and your daughter) nocturnal.

It would be great if you could post back.....sorry again for the questions....just need a tiny bit of info that would help me help you 🙂

Excuse the delay in responding....we are usually fast at getting back

My kind thoughts to you and your daughter

Paul

[ButterChicken]

Hi Nocturnal,

Your story sounds very familiar on so many levels.

I am new to this forum and have yet to introduce myself and explaining why I am here.

My son is 17 and in his own words has "given up on life". It is very painful to see him like that and nothing in the world can seem to get him out of it.

He is taking his meds though but that's about it. No interests in anything. Sitting in his room all day, only coming out to get food or to go to the bathroom. It's killing both me and my husband.

Sorry, I'm not much help here but I just wanted to say that I feel your pain.

Sending love your way

Ela