VCE future

[eliz_a2998]

I have no hope for my future, last year I was doing so well in school. When I got to VCE the pressure got into my head so bad I got diagnosed with severe anxiety which led to a bad reaction to medication suicidal ideation and an admission. I have no hope anymore I can’t even brush my hair or teeth I sleep all day. It’s like I’m already not even alive I’ve ruined my life I had everything last year friends, school, and I was playing my favourite sport. It’s all gone I ruined it all everything, I was supposed to be the smart one the one in my family who actually graduates I’ve let everyone down. What’s the point of even being alive anymore I don’t even feel real.

[Eagle Ray]

Dear eliz_a2998,

Welcome here and I am so sorry to hear that you have been through the awful anxiety. I want you to know that you have definitely not ruined your life. Many people find that final year of high school difficult and very high pressure. The fact that you have experienced those challenges with your mental health does not mean you have cut off your options for the future. There are other pathways into university, such as doing some kind of vocational training first and other forms of tertiary admission that universities allow such as the Special Tertiary Admission Test. There is also the option of repeating the VCE. At my high school quite a number of people in my year repeated Year 12 after struggling to do well in their final year. Those people have gone onto careers, some of them to university as part of that.

However, the most important thing right now is to take care of your mental health and allow yourself to recover. One thing I have learned in life (I am 50 now) is that sometimes the seemingly most awful experiences become our greatest teachers and opportunities. While you are in recovery you actually have some space and an opportunity to reflect on what you would most like to do going forward. Having a gap between high school and what may lie ahead while you are in recovery may be a really valuable space in which you start to see possibilities of finding a career and pathway you would like, maybe a clearer sense of what you'd really like to do than you had before. There can be many roads to finding what may be right for us in life. You do not need to try to solve everything right now or project into the whole of your future. It's just a case of taking things one step at a time and allow your system to recuperate and to feel more grounded and connected again.

Please don't feel you have let others down either. Do you feel that you have good support around you? It's important to go gently and be kind to yourself. It may be helpful to give Kids Helpline a call who support young people up until the age of 25. Their number is 1800 55 1800. Sometimes it can just really help to talk things through with an understanding person.

The feeling of not feeling real is quite common after we have been through something really stressful. It's one of the ways our nervous system tries to protect and take care of us. So just know that you've been through a lot and it's understandable you are feeling that way. You are always welcome here to express how you feel and to let us know how you're going.

Take good care and we are listening,

Eagle Ray

[Eagle Ray]

Dear eliz_a2998,

I sent you an email last night which I think has got stuck in moderation so probably won't appear until Monday now, so apologies that it will repeat largely what I've said here.

In the meantime I just wanted to say please don't feel like you have ruined your life. Many people really struggle with anxiety in that final year of high school. It's so important to be kind to yourself. There are various options going forward, including other entrance paths to university such as the Special Tertiary Admissions Test, some kind of vocational training or repeating the VCE at a time you feel able. Quite a number of people at my high school repeated year 12 after struggling in their final year, and then they were able to go forward to university or other things they wanted to do.

I have had anxiety struggles too and especially did at your age. I know it can be so awful as an experience and I'm so sorry you went through that. I know you may be feeling very low right now and that everything fell apart, but you are only human and feeling how you did at the end of high school is very understandable. It's important now to go gently and while recovering this gives you some space and an opportunity to reflect on what you would most like to do going forward. There may even be an advantage in having this space where you pause and reflect, as so often in life we are pushing through one thing after another.

I hope you are getting some good support. Kids Helpline who support young people up until the age of 25 may also be good to talk to on 1800 55 1800. Staying in contact with supportive people and talking things through can really help. You have absolutely not let anyone down. Know that you are welcome here anytime.

Take good care,

Eagle Ray

[Lost_Soul]

Here for you xx. I struggled doing the best I could back in school due to trauma and physical illness and I still miss school dearly even though I've graduated from school about two years ago. 

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome to the forums.

I just want to add a little what the other posters have replied...

I've read your post and from what you have said, it sounds as though you feel that you have ruined your life. You’re going through an incredibly tough chapter, not the end of your story. You matter far more than your grades, sport, or any expectation.

What did/do you want to do after school?

Not everyone goes down the same road to reach their goal... I can testify to that! I went to TAFE after highschool and then went in an alternate direction what I thought I was going to do!  And there also some places that offer on the training (/qualifications) because the recognise the cost of UNI studies.

I want you to know how important you are, and you can reach your goals.

Listening...

[eliz_a2998]

Hi Eagle Ray,

Thank you for your message. My mum has been very very supportive throughout everything she is my rock. We're looking into taking a year off and doing a diploma at tafe next year, so I can have this year off to work on myself. Though it's really scary I am petrified I will be getting worse if I have nothing to do no motivation. Especially missing my year 12 year I was so excited for those little moments like getting a year 12 jacket and formal. I feel really lost. 

[eliz_a2998]

Hii thank you for your message,

Ive always wanted to get into audiology I have been looking at tafe pathways so I can take this year off. It's just the lack of motivation and hope I have for the future. It just feels impossible at the moment. It's hard to make the decision of dropping out or continuing VCE next year when everyday my goals are just to eat or brush my teeth. It just feels like I'm moving backwards.

[eliz_a2998]

Thank you, that's very inspiring!!

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Elizabeth_a2998,

I'm so glad you have your mum's support. I understand the disappointment about missing out on those things at the end of year 12. I think one way of looking at it is that your system has crashed for a reason, that it really needed a rest. I think doing audiology would be wonderful. I went to an audiologist when I was 26 following an audio accident that damaged my ears (loud noise exposure). He was a really nice guy and helped me a lot. I remembered thinking at the time how rewarding it would be to help people with their hearing.

It sounds like the best thing right now is to just go gently and gradually. So it might be that little by little you can add in say one extra thing every so often. It might be that one day you go for a short walk somewhere nice such as a park or other nature place, or maybe you get to watch a favourite movie or something that gives you a laugh. Sometimes when I have been feeling absolutely terrible I have seen something that has made me laugh out loud on TV or YouTube, and it's amazing how that can be a real circuit breaker and really shift something in the nervous system and help to feel better.

Sometimes some forms of mindfulness meditation can help too, as it can take us out of our worrying mind that is often thinking and worrying about the future. But sometimes just coming back to the present moment and finding peace in that can ease the pressure we often carry around with ourselves. I can certainly get caught in feeling that pressure myself, so I look to ways to be here now in this moment and when I do I start to feel better. Some people on this forum use the Smiling Mind app which sounds really good and it's something I haven't tried myself but I'm thinking of trying. It might be worth looking at.

Take good care of yourself and you are welcome to chat here anytime you would like to 😊 

[smallwolf]

Hi eliz_a2998,

just checking in to say hello and hope you are doing ok