Tired of fighting this battle.

[Beaser]

I hope im ok to post as ive posted so often on other  forums  but im feeling very desperate lately. 

Im just so tired of fighting. I left a job i was in for many years last year. I have since had some part time work that didnt work out.  Im lonely and going broke.  I was desperate and called triple o last week only to be left to my own devices again. I may be going into a facility called parc a non acute inpatient service but that thought scares me. I dont know how much more i can endure. I hope every one is well and thank you for reading      Brett

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Beaser,

It’s great you have the very supportive letters from your doctor and psychologist. I would say be very honest about how things are hard for you at the interview. Someone from an advocacy organisation gave myself and others advice at a meeting about the DSP at the job provider I was with. She said let them know how you feel on your worst day so that they understand things are difficult. Sometimes it can be easy to downplay how things are challenging when asked, and I know I’ve often done that in the past, but they definitely need to know and understand the challenges you have. I didn’t have to do the formal interview myself in the end because I’d had a Centrelink health assessor speak to me even before I applied and I had a written letter from the disability employment agency on my job capacity.

I don’t know if it will help, but I find doing somatic work to calm myself before something can be helpful. I used it today and yesterday actually because I’m going through a rough time. I watched a video by Peter Levine on how to feel calm. It’s based on trauma but can also be used for anxiety. The video is on YouTube under the title “Treating Trauma: 2 Ways to Help Clients Feel Safe, with Peter Levine”. I find his approach through the body very helpful if worried about something so I just thought I’d mention it. It’s probably easier me directing you to the video than me trying to explain it.

I may be absent at times at the moment as I’m going through a very difficult time, but I wish you the very best Beaser and my spirit is with you.

Take care and thinking of you,

ER

[Beaser]

Hi ER.

Im very sorry to read you are going through a very rough time . You are a kind and thoughtful person i really hope you have the support that you so deserve.

Your right about speaking of my worst days as its so easy to gloss over these things  even when asked in the street when bumping into people.  I will look up Peter Levine on you tube thanks for the tip on that.  

I hope you can have a relaxing day . Here anytime if you just want to reach out.

Beaser.

[Eagle Ray]

Thank you kindly Beaser. I have been doing a bit better today. The EMDR therapy I did two and a half weeks ago was initially successful at the time of doing it, but afterwards I had truly awful side effects. I think they are finally beginning to subside.

Yes, it is so easy to gloss over the worst days. I think we can do that with both ourselves and others. But with the DSP I think it's important they know the level of difficulty you may be having. I will be thinking of you. I think just be honest and open as you are here.

I hope maybe the Peter Levine exercises are helpful. Ignore the fact that they are indicated for trauma, as I think they are equally relevant to anxiety generally. I just find sometimes thinking strategies don't always help with thinking, and actually doing something somatic through the body is what helps. Peter Levine is such a very kind man who is really onto it when it comes to ways of calming and soothing the body and nervous system.

Sending you hugs and support,

ER

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Beaser,

I just thought I would check in and see how you are going? I know you had your Centrelink interview this week. No need to respond unless you want to and feel like it. But just thought I’d let you know I’m listening if you want to chat.

I hope you have a lovely weekend,

ER

[Beaser]

Hi ER

Great hear from you.

Yeh i had my interview with sonic health who do the interviews. 

It only went for a short time and just a couple of questions about current and past treatment.  He said he had read my Dr and specialist reports and sounded satisfied with them .  I felt he was understanding of my situation. 

Im not sure about how to gauge things now and dont want to get my hopes up. I just have to wait until i hear back now.

How have you been going yourself hope all is ok.

Beaser 

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Beaser,

I’m glad the interview went well and was straightforward. It does sound that he has the information that he needs from the reports so he didn’t need to ask you a lot of things. That’s probably a good sign, but like you I don’t want to get your hopes up either. But I do hope for the best and that you get approved. There are options for appeal if it’s not approved the first time, but fingers crossed it gets through.

I’m still having a rough time at times. I think I’m improving with the effects from the EMDR and then they come back. They are weird and disturbing symptoms but my brain is still trying to reprocess and I just hope it can achieve what it’s trying to do. It’s supposed to not be so dramatic but I have such a sensitive nervous system and brain and it’s had a massive impact on me. All I can do is just go as gently as I can and try to support myself through it.

I hope you have a lovely day Beaser and that you might have some nice weather.

Take care and thinking of you,

ER

[Beaser]

Hi ER.

Sorry its been awhile i  guess ive been  a bit sidetracked lately . 

I did come across a  post where you said things had been pretty tough of late for you  after the EMDR treatment.  Im sorry to see this and i hope that you are going ok. I dont know much about the treatment but i imagine it could have some strong effects. 

Im still playing the waiting game regarding my DSP and its getting a bit stressful. Ive read that its very rare to get rejected after a Sonic interview but im not counting on it. 

Its certainly turned to winter here in VIC  its seems like yesterday it was hot here.   

Hope you have a peaceful day.  

Beaser.

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Beaser,

I know the wait to hear back can be a bit stressful. Are there some things you can think of you can do that you enjoy that provide a bit of a distraction? Also, did anyone give you an approximate timeframe in which you can expect to hear back? I ended up hearing back sooner than I expected. The consultant at the disability employment provider I was with thought it could take a long time and I have a vague memory of when I submitted it online that it might have said about 3 months. But in the end it was quite a bit faster than that but I can’t remember exactly. At least you are exempt from obligations while waiting so perhaps you can plan some things you feel you are able to do and will enjoy in the meantime.

Yes, the weather has changed so much in Victoria hasn’t it given it was hot and dry for so long. It was very much like that here last year where it seemed to be summer up until June and then suddenly became winter. This year we had more of an autumn. Right now there is lovely rain falling outside. I’m staying in the city and enjoying having a break here. Still in bed at the moment listening to the rain.

Best wishes,

ER

[Beaser]

Hi ER 

Hope you are going along ok and the city stay is relaxing.

I have been given a rough time of 6to7 weeks to hear about my claim but  some say longer some say shorter. I believe the sonic interview i had, to be a good sign as they are just con firming things. Im sort of at peace with it and ill just deal with what ever happens.

I had a good shift at the hospital yesterday its been a real positive for me. 

Hope you have a peaceful day.

Beaser.

[Eagle Ray]

That’s so great to hear Beaser, that you had a good shift at the hospital and that you’re sort of at peace with waiting to hear back on the DSP.

I’m sitting by the river at the moment filling in some time before a medical appointment. It’s warmish and there is some sun after a full day of rain yesterday.

Take care and enjoy the rest of your day!

ER