Tired of fighting this battle.

[Beaser]

I hope im ok to post as ive posted so often on other  forums  but im feeling very desperate lately. 

Im just so tired of fighting. I left a job i was in for many years last year. I have since had some part time work that didnt work out.  Im lonely and going broke.  I was desperate and called triple o last week only to be left to my own devices again. I may be going into a facility called parc a non acute inpatient service but that thought scares me. I dont know how much more i can endure. I hope every one is well and thank you for reading      Brett

[Beaser]

Hi ER.

Thanks for your kind and encouraging words.

I hope things are going ok for you . It can be a real rollercoaster after losing someone you care for.

It was a long weekend here so my town was a bit quitter with people away. 

There was some welcome rain in some areas of vic but no so much central where i am. 

Im looking forward to my shift tomorrow at the hospital. I haven't at yet committed to ED i just wanted to be sure about things. 

Wishing you a good day.       Beaser

[Eagle Ray]

Hi Beaser,

Yes, I am going ok. It is a rollercoaster but I am doing quite well with it and coping with the ups and downs.

It is so very dry in Victoria at the moment. I do hope you might get some rain soon.

I'm glad you are looking forward to your shift tomorrow. It's so good to have things to look forward to. Later this month I am heading to the city to do more petsitting and catch up with some people and I'm really looking forward to that. Yes, with the ED, you can just see how you go and if you like it and feel you'd like to keep doing it.

Wishing you a lovely day Beaser,

ER

[Beaser]

Hi ER.

I hope you are doing well after the tough times of recent for you. 

Well its finally raining here and its a great sound on the roof.

I went and watched some local cricket yesterday and caught up with some friends and hopefully again today. 

Its been a bit of a rollercoaster of late for me too. I think the hot dry year has taken a bit of a toll, if that makes some sense. I also ran into one of my brothers old friends yesterday and talking about things has made me feel sad about him and his situation. Hes basically house bound and very deaf , i felt that on recent visits that it made him uncomfortable because of his situation. I know i should make an effort on my behalf. 

I hope things are good for you are you  you off to house sit again sometime soon?

Wishing you a Happy day        Beaser

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Beaser,

Thank you, I’m really doing ok. That’s so lovely you are getting the rain. I love hearing it on the roof. It feels so good to have the rain.

That’s great you watched the cricket and caught up with friends. I understand about the impact of the hot, dry weather. It was like that here a year ago and it stayed like summer right up until June. It was an odd feeling. It’s excellent you do have some rain though and I hope you get more.

That’s lovely you have compassion for your brother’s old friend. I understand how being a caring person you can feel sad if someone else is doing it tough. He probably appreciated your company even if he feels a bit uncomfortable about his circumstances. It’s so kind of you to care.

I am off tomorrow to do housesitting and looking after the fluffy cat I often look after. She is lovely company.

Take care and I hope you have a lovely week,

ER

[Beaser]

HI ER.

Hope youre week of housesitting is a great week . Im sure your favorite cat will be happy to see you. 

Beaser

[Eagle Ray]

Thank you kindly Beaser. The little fluff ball has meowed at me just now looking for cuddles. She’s a very sweet little cat 🥰

I hope you are having a lovely week ☺️

Hugs,

ER

[Beaser]

Hi ER

Hope your cat and house sitting went well. Just thought id check in and say hi.      

I start my extra shift next Tuesday at the hospital so im looking forward to seeing how that goes. 

Been a bit cooler here of late i think weve seen the last of the hotter weather.   Ill be complaining about the cold soon i guess. LOL.   

Hoping youre going along ok.

Beaser

[Eagle Ray]

Thank you Beaser,

Yes, it was lovely spending time with fluffy cat who I had cuddle time with and she purred a lot 🥰 It was beautiful spending time with my friend and her little girl too 💗 I really enjoyed a morning where we went to her daughter’s playgroup that was gently and beautifully run with various play options and activities like songs, stories and bread making. It’s just lovely being with all the little people.

That’s great you are starting the extra shift at the hospital. I imagine it’s good to have variety and you will learn some new skills and get to help and support others.

I’m glad you are getting some cooler weather. I came back to the city on Thursday where I still am now for some work on my car and to look into a possible area to live up here. It’s been hot and at the moment it’s quite oppressive with thunderstorm conditions building up.

I’m going ok. It’s like I’m doing a lot of emotional processing that’s just unfolding at the moment but it seems to be all good in that it feels like it’s moving in a positive direction.

I hope you are having a lovely weekend Beaser and I look forward to hearing about your new shift at the hospital.

Hugs and best wishes,

ER

[Beaser]

Hi ER.

I hope you are doing well and still moving in a positive direction. 

I started my extra shift and that has gone ok its a bit of extra structure so that is good.

Ive also been at the footy club doing the bar which has been good.  I just wish it was a bit better organised as i feel things come back on me that shouldnt.    One being membership sales , i had to sell some memberships that i didnt have cards for which i dont like doing.  I think i will mention that tonight. 

I know this has been a common theme of late but i had a centrelink interview yesterday . I have an exemption until the end of June then i will have to do the job match thing with an interview with a provider which is stressing me out. I know that nothing is free and i dont want to get anything im not entitled too. I ve worked full time from 16 to 56 i think ive tried hard. I have spoken to my DR about applying for the DSP so i will talk with him again when i get in to see him next i know its not an easy task to get the DSP. 

I can get my super tax free next march when i turn 60 so i was hoping to hold out untill then but if it gets to stressful i will have to access it earlier at a22% or 15% tax.  My super and everyones has taken a terrible hit with what the US has done this week. 

I hope I havent been too negative this post but i just needed to put it down    .

I hope you are going ok as you mentioned you had some life pressure hapening. 

My best wishes.  Virtual Hug.

Beaser.

[Eagle Ray]

Hi Beaser,

It’s good to hear the new shift has gone well and gives you some extra structure. I imagine it’s nice having some variety.

Yes, that sounds like a good idea to mention the membership sales issue at the footy club. I hope it all got sorted out.

It will be good to have another chat with your GP about the DSP. You can also chat with your psychologist too. They would need to provide a report for it along with the GP. My psychologist did it collaboratively with me in that she got me to write my own understanding of my responses to the questions on the impairment tables, then wrote her report informed by that plus her own understanding from working with me. It is apparently more difficult to get than it used to be, but there is an appeals process if it doesn’t get through initially.

Yes, so many issues with financial things and US policy at the moment. I don’t have a great deal of super as I’ve always worked in low paid jobs and mostly part time due to health issues. So I do understand that feeling of vulnerability financially. When I can access my super it is not going to offer me a lot other than some support for a short while. I would love to find a way to get well enough to be independent of the DSP at some point in the future and somehow find financial independence and security. But I don’t know if and how that will happen at this stage. But if you are really struggling and just cannot work more than 15 hours a week, the DSP does offer a safety net and I’m very grateful for it.

You haven’t been negative in your post at all Beaser. It is good you are looking at options going forward and it’s great you have the extra shift with different tasks at the hospital. I am doing ok. I’m doing some processing of some past trauma stuff which is quite full on and seeing my psychologist on Monday, but working my way through it and going gently.

Always happy to chat and a big virtual hug to you too,

ER