Tell us your thoughts - What's kept or keeping you here?

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi everyone,

This is not an easy thread to make but I'm doing it because I think it's important.

I can see that you're all hurting and I know because I'm hurting too. Right now I'm in an easier place but it wasn't that long ago where I wasn't. Often we can find lots of reasons why we don't want to be here, and very few reasons that we do. So I'm making this post to bring everyone together to either find reasons to stay or show me why you've stayed. I don't care whether they are small or big reasons. They are reasons.

Please feel free to post below because I want to hear yours, and I want this to be a thread where people who come here can grab onto a reason too.

The reasons why I chose to stay -

- My dogs.

- Planning to die was very complicated.

- I wanted to hold on just in case things got a little bit better.

and now, I'm glad that I stayed. Please know that while suicide will end the pain, it will end your life too - so you'll say goodbye to any opportunities that things might get better. Opportunities for laughter, joy and beautiful memories. Sometimes it's about staying with the pain and finding other ways to let go of it without saying goodbye to our life.

[Guest_1584]

l like the people , people that are different or gone through crap are usually the best souls of all.

And hey l got some issues too and it's helped me understand and deal with them better.

[Mia001]

Hi romantic_thi3f,

My counsellor has asked me this question and I find it hard to answer.

So why am I still here?

1. My family and friends would be shocked and devastated. Most of them have no idea if my struggles. I don’t want to hurt them.
2. I don’t think that I’d succeed and I couldn’t live with the guilt and shame when everyone found out. (Selfish, I know!)
3. When I’m suicidal, I’m usually curled up in a ball crying or just frozen because I’m in so much emotional pain. I’m not going anywhere.
4. There’s a part of me that refuses to give up. I know that it’s just a feeling that will pass and things will get better. Killing myself won’t heal my emotional pain or solve my problems.

Mia

[jjac]

My reasons?

Im too afraid of the unknown, the pain and possible failure.

Partially also my family. Even though they make me so unhappy they'd make my death about them and go off the rails.

I think just fear. I really don't want to live but I'm scared to die.

[White_Rose]

Hello Mia

There’s a part of me that refuses to give up. I know that it’s just a feeling that will pass and things will get better. Killing myself won’t heal my emotional pain or solve my problems.

Good thinking. I am with you there. I have gone through the pain and come out the other side, but on the road I have tried twice to leave. Obviously the universe still has a use for me.

Quercus said. That suicide solves nothing. The hurt just gets passed on. From me to those I love. More guilt. More questions. More pain. Yep, absolutely.

The biggest problem is when we are in that dark place and cannot remember those who love us, cannot remember how good the world is generally. It's all pain and darkness, guilt and shame. We need to have the ability to remember at that time. I have no idea how that works because it did not work for me. Just a free ride to hospital.

I say to anyone who has these thoughts, however minor or fleeting, don't wait until you cannot get back. Get help and leave those thoughts behind.

Mary

[Brian84]

Tonight I contemplated suicide I have been unhappy for many years now.

im not sure how many times I will do this before I’ve truly had enough I just don’t see the point of fighting on in life I’ve been empty and lonely for so long now I don’t ever see it getting better.

im on edge daily

[Gardenlady]

Hi romantic_thi3f,

Thank you for sharing.

The thought of leaving my husband and kids and my parents behind if I took my life keep me here.

To think of how it would affect them keeps me surviving.

I also know that the world is a beautiful place but that it’s hard to see in dark moments. I don’t want to miss out on the beauty of life and the chance to make a positive and loving contribution to other people and the earth. And maybe someday recover and help others to get better too.

[IsaJett]

Hi Brian

Whats getting you so down??

U have definitely come to the right place. I was sucidal too a few years back but I realise it was me just wanting the stop the pain... I didnt want to die ...but just wanted pain to stop.

I want you to know and remember that this is just temporary ...your pain is temporary..things will change for the better. You might not believe it now...but trust that it will .

Talk us through why you are feeling so down. this is a safe place so know that you will be ok 😉

Hope to hear from you soon

[smallwolf]

To share my experience and story. To answer questions posters might ask, letting them know it's ok to seek professional help. To provide support, as possible, in this environment.

It provides a space where I can say things that I might not be able to tell others in real life.

As I write things for others, I am also writing for myself, reminding ourselves of what I should be doing.

And probably every other reason listed above

[White_Rose]

Hello Smallwolf

I feel you have stolen my line. As I write things for others, I am also writing for myself, reminding ourselves of what I should be doing. This has always been my reason for writing here. I am not better than anyone else or more together (I wish). I get strength from those who get through a bad patch and I know I can do it. Talking about similar situations and metaphorically holding someone's hand is good. Just to remember we can hold hands and get through the crap together. Amazing.

Mary

[Chloe_M]

Ok... so the reason I am here is because (Trigger Warning):

• i have been told too many times that people need me
• i like to help people on the forums- they need me too (sort of)
• I wanted to kill myself, but I it was very hard (too much effort)
• I have decided that I am going to get through this- i can defeat anxiety and depression!
• I have come to realise that there are so many things in life like love and friendship and cute fluffy animals and chocolate (lol) that make life beautiful and, ultimately, worth living.

Have an amazing weekend and to any students and government employees- have an amazing two weeks off!

Chloe 🙂