Suicidal idealation

[AnonymousID]

The suicidal thoughts are non stop. I have come close to death several times, which was scary but not scary enough to stop me from doing it again. I self harm because I think that's a better alternative than another attempt. I've been stuck in this pattern for as long as I can remember and don't know how to get out of it.

[Sophie_M]

Hey AnonymousID,

Thank you so much for keeping the community updated on how you've been going. We can hear how distressing these intense thoughts and feelings must be for you when drinking, but you've shown so much strength in reaching out to alcohol services to help you through this. We think it is so great that you've been so proactive in seeking help, and please know that extra support is always available if you'd like to talk these thoughts and feelings through before your meeting in the New Year. 

Our Support Service is always here for you on 1300 22 4636, as well as our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) and Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467). Please know that you can call the understanding counsellors at these services as often as you need during difficult moments to talk through whatever is on your mind, and they will always be there to offer support and advice. 

We hope that you can continue finding comfort in the wonderful support from our community, we're all here for you.

[smallwolf]

Hi, I was (am) a glass half empty sort of person. And not optimistic. My psychologist had me do a gratitude journal. I would struggle to find things to be thankful for. As a result I would then have to go and do a google search to find some things to throw into this journal that my psychologist wanted me to do. I would see these lists with say 60 or 100 things to be thankful for. For me only a handful made sense so I would write to these down. I would tell my psychologist that I had to use Google.

When all I had were negative thoughts running around my mind, finding positives can be really difficult!

There is also a thread on the forums here called "three things to be thankful for today" you might like to have a look at?

I am just saying what has worked for me and hope you might find something on my post.

[AnonymousID]

Update

im still self harming, drinking, and having suicidal thoughts. I just can't seem to shake them and negative coping strategies seem to be the only thing that provides me with temporary relief.

im not feeling very supported by the people around me. I know I haven't talked to them about how I'm feeling but the signs are there. I just want to be treated with dignity and respect. My sister got drunk and abused and was violent towards me on nye. All because I wasn't sitting with her. Alcohol has caused so much trouble in my family and it's falling apart. They all get angry when they drink and take it out on me.

My family is my reason for living but it's starting to sound like not a very good reason. I don't want to be here with myself and my thoughts

[Sophie_M]

Hi AnonymousID,

We're so sorry to hear that you're not feeling supported by the people around you. The way that your sister treated you is not okay, and we're so sorry to hear that you recently had this experience. We are checking in on you privately to make sure that you're safe at the moment, but always remember to call 000 (triple zero) if you are in immediate danger.

If you are struggling to open up to your family about the suicidal thoughts your having, it may be worth taking a look at our page, “Talk about it" to see if there is some advice that resonates with you. If you are experiencing violence or abuse, would strongly urge that you contact 1800RESPECT. They offer 24/7 confidential information, counselling and support for people impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence and abuse. You can contact them on 1800 737 732 or visit  https://www.1800respect.org.au/

You might also be interested in looking at one of our threads, "Instead of harming myself I now...". This page is filled with ideas by other community members like you who use (or have previously used) self harm as a negative coping strategy. 

We can hear that your family has been a reason for living and that this is not feeling like enough at the moment. If it’s helpful for you, you might consider taking a look at what reasons might be for others, on our thread ‘What’s kept or keeping you here?”.

Thank you for keeping us updated here. We hope that you can find some peace for yourself today, and make sure you reach out if you need extra support.

[AnonymousID]

I really think getting help is hopeless . I try so hard and end up in the same place. I chase dreams but I don’t think I can achieve them, it’s just all fake. Even if I was to get to the point I had everything I wanted I don’t think I would be happy. It seems like after all the plans, plan z will be the only thing left

[Sophie_M]

Hey AnonymousID,

Thanks for participating in the Beyond Blue forums tonight. We're so sorry to hear how hopeless you're feeling and that you feel you'll always be dissatisfied. We can understand that these feelings would be a lot to process but please know that things can get better. 

Our Support Service is trying to reach out to you via email as we are worried about you.

We hope you know that there is always help available to you. We would urge that you seek professional support to help you work through these thoughts that you're experiencing. If you are not sure of how to access mental health support, please contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport We hope you stay in touch.

[Guest_4643]

Hey AnonymousID.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way, are you safe? You're not hopeless, you're deserving of help and I'm sorry you feel like nothing is working, I think that's common for those with mental illnesses so you're not alone there.

You're capable of achieving whatever it is you wish to do, and I do hope you will become happy.

Please don't feel this way, I know it's easier said than done but you're loved and cared for.

[AnonymousID]

I’m counting down the days. I am safe now but I don’t think I will make it through the next week

[Sophie_M]

Thanks for reaching out again AnonymousID,

We're glad that you're safe for now but it seems like things are still extremely difficult and we're concerned about you. Is there anyone else you've told about how you're feeling? Have you been able to try any of the support numbers we provided?

Our counsellors are always here for you on 1300 224 636, as well as our friends at Lifeline, 13 11 14 and the Suicide Call Back Service, 1300 659 467

It's normal to feel alone at times like this but support really is only a phone call away. 

[Guest_4643]

AnonymousID.

Please call 000 if you're feeling this way or reach out to Lifeline or something.