Suicidal constantly

[Chris_Tas]

Hi all.

Like others I think of suicide basically constantly.

It's like a someone whispering in me ear that I can't stop as my life otherwise is (mostly) ok.

I told my parents again but they just said Im an attention seeker that using it as an excuse not to work.

That is far from the trust as when I tell them I'm suicidal they laugh and then get angry.

It's so difficult as it makes my suicidal thoughts worse but they seem completely oblivious.

Anyway stay safe all.

Chris

[Chris_Tas]

Hi all.

As always thank you so much for the support, thoughts and advice.

Unfortunately I had an issue so I've been the Psych ward getting support to move forward.

That would not have happened without the support from my phone call to BeyondBlue (which resulted in immediate care for my safety).

I cannot thank BeyondBlue and the operator i spoke to enough, and as per my previous crisis I encourage everyone to be open with your thoughts.

Only if you are honest can you get the help you might need and I continue to learn that.

Thank you again to everyone who has responded within this thread.

I'm safe and now been discharged with a full recovery program in place.

Chris

[therising]

Hi Chris

So glad to hear you're making progress, developing the practice of finding the right help each time specific challenges become too overwhelming. Reaching out for help can take a lot of practice before it becomes 2nd nature. It's something to be incredibly proud of, managing through skills you develop, including the skill of knowing when to reach out for some light (inspiration and support) when things become incredibly dark.

Looking forward to hearing more about your recovery plan 🙂

[Petal22]

Hi Chris,

Id like to congratulate you on seeking the help you need and opening up, I understand that this takes great courage.

I know you are strong enough to get through this Chris .

Im glad to hear you are safe and have a full recovery plan in place.

Please keep in touch.

We are happy to support you in your recovery.

I know you are going to recover and come out the other side a new stronger version of your self.

Be proud of how far you have come 😊

[Chris_Tas]

Thank you to all the support.

I don't even get it from "friends" so it certainly is appreciated.

They just don't get it - like living in a bubble and it's too much for them to understand.

That's ok and I respect their decision.

It does make you feel more isolated as you are encouraged to open up but then when you do you are treated like a loser etc which I don't believe I am.

Hence the discussions and advice on here I find so valuable as I know people understand and ate empathetic not judgemental.

Emergency services have treated me the same way.

So just a check in and no need to reply.

Chris

[Chris_Tas]

Hi all.

Again, just a check in.

Well after a few days of hell (mentally) I managed to get on top of things - well, to a degree.

As alcohol withdrawals are pretty intense i was proud of stopping and then hear today that "rather I be dead than sleep in you lazy pig".

It just hurts so much when I thought I was getting support yet in reality my parents clearly just don't get it.

I immediately rang my Counsellor and he said basically to stop expecting my parents to understand as they never will.

He advised me to move out immediately.

So yeah, no I'm not suicidal at the moment but the constant negativity around me from "loved ones" is baffling and frankly, extremely hurtful and disappointing.

Hope everyone are doing ok in their own circumstances.

Chris

[Petal22]

Hi Chris,

Well-done for going through your alcohol withdrawals.

Im so sorry your parents still speak to you the way they do and yes they really don’t understand………….

It would be nice if they opened their mind a bit and tried to but Chris they are on their own life journey and they are just on a different level in their learning.

I think it would be great for you to be around more understanding caring people Chris to help you in your recovery.

Chris even though they say this to you try to remember it’s a reflection of them selves and not you……

Please build your own mindset with positive thoughts about yourself.. you really are a resilient person Chris and you are going to make it through this. I know you are strong.

Once you are on the other side of this I believe you will help others with their mental health journeys.

Do you think you will move out?

Stay strong

[Sophie_M]

Hi Chris,

Well done for ringing your counsellor. That must have been so hard to hear, but we're really glad that you took such a good step so quickly. 

Please know that our counsellors are here for you 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or on webchat, so if at any point you need to speak to someone and you're not able to reach your counsellor, we're here. There's also our friends at Counselling Online, who have some really good resources on Making a Change, here.

Other community members have previously mentioned Daybreak, the app, to be a useful resource. You can find out more about this here.

I'm sure we'll hear from other community members soon. Thanks again for sharing here, Chris. It shows such strength and kindness and we hope you are able to see that and feel proud.

Kind regards, 

Sophie M

[Centaured]

Hey Chris

Nice to meet you. I get suicidal a lot and your thread had been uplifting. I'm glad your still here and even though you don't support from your family it seems like you have found support else where and found places willing to help and care.

I'm sorry about the withdrawals I hear they can really suck, but it's a positive step forward, sober can be hard but it is standing up and facing your life instead of running from it. I believe you are a brave person.

And in regards to moving out I think it's a pretty good idea. It sounds like you're parents are making things hard and don't even want to understand and their unapproval makes you feel like shit. Sometimes we have to accept reality as hard as it is and make the changes in our life to make reality work better for us. If something isn't working we adjust it. I'm sorry your parents don't work for you, but it is what it is and this is your life not theirs, You have nothing to prove to them, and you have to do what is right for at the end of the day.

I'm sorry for that rant. Lol. Just wanted to add I'm proud of you and I thank you for continuing to push through. We are here when you need us. Cheers.

[Chris_Tas]

Hi Petal.

(thank you mod Sophie)

Yeah i might live on the streets for a while.

I can't go any lower as ridiculed by my own family.

They say things like "cheer up", "you'll be fine", "toughen up" etc

It's infuriating and I'm not an angry type but those comments hurt me

[Chris_Tas]

Will get back to all posts ASAP.

Just told I'm an "attention seeker" just for saying "I'm suicidal?

Seriously it's absurd here