Struggling to get help

[Doolhof]

I know this is a place where we are supposed to encourage and support each other, to offer suggestions of where help may be received and to try to be positive in our experiences of reaching out for mental health guidance and care.

Unfortunately that has not been my experience for a long time living in the country.

My GP kept telling me he would make an appointment with me to do a mental health care plan. That took about 6 months. At an appointment I basically told him I needed help, could he please do the plan that day and not make me wait another 4 weeks for a next appointment.

The psychologist he recommended sent me an email stating with the information the Dr had written in the referral she was unable to assist me. She had not even met me!

Wait another 4 weeks for another Drs appointment.  A new psychologist was recommended, I had to drive to the city for this one. Had to wait a couple of months for an appointment. My appointment was to be on Thursday this week. Received an email from the psychologist stating "due to changes in his circumstances he is no longer able to offer me sessions".

I go to the local hospital and am told "the Doctors are too busy seeing more important patients to be able to see you".  The Nurse/Sister actually stated that to me over and over.

Looks like me and my sick mind are just going to have to keep trying to support myself until it doesn't work any longer.

[therising]

Hi Doolhof

So glad you can feel some progress. Of course the question remains 'Is she going to be worth the drive?'. I sure hope so. I absolutely hope so. I hope she's the most amazing person you've ever met, leading you to say 'I can't believe such a person actually exists'. I hope that's what you end up hearing yourself say. I hope with all my heart.

Glad you've got a plan to explore things around that appointment. Some of the greatest things are what we end up finding a little further afield. Could end up finding something there that you're willing to drive an hour for - a little shop that makes your heart sing or perhaps cafe that brings you the kind of peace you crave. Such things are definitely worth the drive, especially when we need them the most.

I actually said to my son yesterday 'I'm willing to travel just about anywhere, within reason, to get you the best result'. As we face what feels impossible (a psychiatrist over the next couple of months that will put him on a trial of some med that will help him with mental/cognitive function in VCE this year), I said 'If we, by some chance, do get into see someone over the next month and if we have to travel 4 hours from our holiday spot in April (returning to Melbourne) just for a 20min appointment and then we drive back, that's exactly what we're going to do'.

I think our desperation to feel and create a difference is often what leads us to do the most incredible things while being the most incredible person we can be. While a sense of desperation can feel like it's destroying us, it can also re-create us in ways we can be proud of.

[Summer Rose]

Hi Dools

Great news! You made it over all the hurdles, well done.

Fingers crossed that this practitioner is worth the wait. The good news is that there is no evidence to suggest otherwise. Keep the faith and good luck.

Kind thoughts to you 

[Doolhof]

Hi therising, Summer Rose and all reading,

Yes, I am hoping this person will be able to assist me in ways others have not. The Dr has recommended some strategies that may help including DBT, Acceptance Therapy and what ever else he wrote on the referral. Hopefully the lady will be able to assist. I have been Googling some information as well.

Therising, I hope you are able to locate someone who can help your son sooner than later. It must be comforting or supportive for your son to know you have his back and are there for him. I want to congratulate you for wanting the best for your son.

Now all I have to do is wait for the appointment. I felt a bit "yuck and down" this morning so pushed myself out the door for a walk. Tried to do some gardenia but the neighbour's dog decided to serenade me with its continual barking so I retreated inside, watch a documentary on T.V. and did some crocheting instead.

Made a healthy lunch. Decided to be active and started to clean the gutters. Scooped out leaves with a dessert spoon as there is not a wide enough gap for my hand or anything else. Who designs gutters! The over hang is ridiculous. 

Inside and exercised my brain doing some puzzles and games. Cooking dinner now and will find something else to do for the evening.

Will plan tomorrow so I have a balance of activities. Cheers to you all from Dools

[mmMekitty]

Hi Dools. Summer Rose & therising.

I've just spent some time reading this discussion.  I am outraged at how difficult it is for you & so many people living in rural & regional areas of Australia to access health care services, including those for mental helth.

I'm hoping the psychologist you are going to meet will be able to offer you the help you've been looking for.

I made the mistake of suggesting telehealth to someone only to remember how difficult it can be to have a reliable mobile or internet service when living away from major centres. I've been doing telehealth with my psychiatrist, & I think it works fairly well. Occasionally odd things happen, but I've still been able to have my appointments. Now I'm dealing with Medicare, because he doesn't bulk bill, & it's just as well I have some money in my acco9unt, or I could be in debt because Medicare doesn't pay my within the week they aim to do. I feel very fortunate that I am able to make seeing him possible.

In your last post you were saying about the things you are doing during your day, planning a variety of things to do. Every thing you wrote is a fantastic 'self-care' thing you are doing. I expect it feels like putting band-aids on, only temporary, right? If you make these things regular things you do, make caring for yourself a high priority, you will benefit enormously from that. 

You might not feel anything changes, but there are changes going on. I know myself, eating better, exercising as I have been doing, while I notice a few subtle changes, & the growth of muscles in my arms, (the most noticable thing, which I also like the most), I am feeling better in myself. For one, I am feeling less bloated now. That feels good too. I'm happier, knowing I am doing good things for my health, & if these changes in how I live mean better mental helath too, I'll take it.

I've appreciated your words of wisdom & compassion here on BB. Your care & insight are wonderful qualities. I hope your visits here will not be too infrequent.

Hugzies

mmmekitty

[Doolhof]

Hi mmMekitty and all reading,

Thanks for your message and kind words. Helping myself is certainly beneficial. Finding the motivation sometimes is a struggle. I know there are many things I can do to help myself and I do try to implement some of those.

One issue I have is feeling lonely and having little contact with people. I've tried to catch up with some ladies I know, I understand they are busy with their own lives. One of my dearest friends seems to have stopped being in contact and I don't know why. My messages to her are not being responded to. People move on, I get that.

I'm making enquiries about doing some volunteer work and have an interview for that next week. I read in our local paper of a group that makes craft items and sells them to raise money for community needs. They are in a town a 20 kilometre drive away so I will contact them as well. Our town has very little to offer in the way of community connections. I have been known to collect the mail from the post office and if the lady is not busy, I go in and have a chat with her!

Returning to the mental health assistance, I have tried teleconferencing with a psychiatrist, the line was not good unfortunately, I can see though how that service would be very beneficial in many ways.

Wishing everyone a day with much peace, regards from Dools

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Dools

I’ve just read through this thread and really feel for you trying to get the help you’re looking for. I hope the current situation works out well.

 I just thought I’d mention that I moved to a regional area a year ago and knew I needed psychological support. I’d been looking for the right help in the city and hadn’t been able to get it. After about 3 months living here I eventually found a psychologist on an internet search who seemed to have an approach that matched what I was looking for. She’s not even in the same state but I do the appointments via telehealth. She will also do appointments by phone which we did in the beginning as I didn’t have a computer set up then. So even if you don’t have great reception for telehealth on a computer where you are, some may even work by phone. I know that it’s usually better being able to see one another, but I actually processed a traumatic incident with my psych over the phone on the second appointment I ever had with her, and it worked extremely well.

 Basically I found by going outside the box, even the state I live in, eventually led me to the right person. And I don’t even have to leave home to do the appointment. Sometimes there are minor glitches in the video connection which we do via FaceTime, but overall it’s worked well.

I admire how resourceful you are taking care of yourself in the meantime. I’ve so enjoyed reading about your walks on the walking thread. I have had some lonely feelings too, even though I really like my country town. I think little by little connections get made but it just takes time. I recently got chatting to a nice woman after patting her dog and I’m actually catching up with her today for coffee. I think gradually as you are out in the community opportunities come up.

Take care and all the best! 🌸🌼🌿

[Doolhof]

Hi Eagle Ray,

Thanks for all your lovely comments here and encouragement. Maybe if things work out okay with this psychologist I could ask if she can do phone consults or Facetime. That is a good idea. Just because I had a couple of connections with a psychiatrist via zoom or what ever it was, doesn't mean that kind of interaction can't work!

I'll keep persevering with trying to make connections with people. I'm in a small town that doesn't really have anywhere to connect with people and a major truck route passes through the middle of the town.

I'm trying to work on my attitude and looking for things to be thankful for amongst the stuff I am not enjoying.

Friday I had a lovely walk with my sister, we both chat about stuff that is bothering us and then move on to different topics. There is always nature to admire and appreciate as well.

I'm thinking of getting my paints out again. That will be a bit of fun.

Wishing you and everyone an insightful day, cheers form Dools

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Dools

I think in terms of connecting with people it can sometimes just be one small step at a time. I've been in my town a year now and I've been fairly reclusive for most of that. I wanted to do things like community activities, volunteering etc, but I realised I was in survival mode and that all I could manage was my nature walks.

So I think it's really important not to be hard on yourself. I think your intuition knows what you need, and sometimes we do need to withdraw a bit from the world before we can come back out into it, if that makes sense?

I think when dealing with anything mental health related we are often quite tender and vulnerable, so I think it's a case of just putting feelers out into the world when you feel ready and at whatever pace feels comfortable. At least, that's what I'm finding seems to be the best approach for me, as I still need my alone, recharge time too and I feel like I'm processing a lot of stuff.

It's so nice you have your sister to chat with. The paints sound wonderful. I imagine your nature walks could be an inspiration for creativity.

Wishing you and everyone a lovely day!

[Doolhof]

Hi Eagle Ray,

Thanks again for your thoughtful words. We have been here 10 years! I have tried joining different organisations and groups plus volunteering. This area is very much about ancestors and connections.

Maybe it is just me. Maybe no one likes me! I went to a work function yesterday. I sat with a group of staff and they asked me to leave their table as they were having a private conversation.

I went and sat with other staff, said hello and they didn't respond, carried on with their conversation, ate their food and left. I was left sitting there staring at the walls. We were supposed to be having a presentation. I went out to the coffee line up said hello to other staff and they didn't respond. I gave up and went home.

I was so depressed yesterday all I could think of is that not being here is better than being invisible!

I'd better get used to liking my own company and learn how to shut my thoughts down.

[Doolhof]

Hi James,

I am finding this set up on the forum confusing. I accidently found your message here scrolling through the page numbers at the bottom.

It is frustrating when it seems the only help available is by phoning support places like Lifeline and Beyond Blue, yes they are extremely beneficial, their help is immediate, but it is not ongoing in the sense of having collaborative or continued care by the same person.

Even when I was admitted to the local hospital for mental health care I was told to phone Lifeline and Beyond Blue if I required any mental health care.

There is a Mental Health Support organisation 40 kilometres away. You need a Drs referral to see them. Last time I had an episode, this organisation was contacted. The lady rang me said she would organise a wellness plan, connect me with support services in my area and would organise a support appointment for my husband. She would call me back with appointment details. 

She rang me back 3 weeks later to state they were closing my file and if I wanted further assistance I was to gain another referral from my GP. None of the services she had suggested were ever provided!

I'm struggling right now, feel unbalanced and feel like there is no where to gain help apart from phoning Lifeline and Beyond Blue!