Struggling to get help

[Doolhof]

I know this is a place where we are supposed to encourage and support each other, to offer suggestions of where help may be received and to try to be positive in our experiences of reaching out for mental health guidance and care.

Unfortunately that has not been my experience for a long time living in the country.

My GP kept telling me he would make an appointment with me to do a mental health care plan. That took about 6 months. At an appointment I basically told him I needed help, could he please do the plan that day and not make me wait another 4 weeks for a next appointment.

The psychologist he recommended sent me an email stating with the information the Dr had written in the referral she was unable to assist me. She had not even met me!

Wait another 4 weeks for another Drs appointment.  A new psychologist was recommended, I had to drive to the city for this one. Had to wait a couple of months for an appointment. My appointment was to be on Thursday this week. Received an email from the psychologist stating "due to changes in his circumstances he is no longer able to offer me sessions".

I go to the local hospital and am told "the Doctors are too busy seeing more important patients to be able to see you".  The Nurse/Sister actually stated that to me over and over.

Looks like me and my sick mind are just going to have to keep trying to support myself until it doesn't work any longer.

[mmMekitty]

Well done, Dools, with your new psychologist.

I've had to look for, have first, introductory appointments with several Psychiatrists before I found my current PDr. It was never easy going into those appointments.

Since you had a good first appointment with her, I'm hopeful you will be able to form a good therapeutic relationship.

Good luck with the volunteer role.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Doolhof]

Hi Summer Rose, mmMekitty and all reading,

Thanks for dropping by and sharing your encouragement. I am going to spend some time today reading some ideas on how to help myself as well with my mental health. The first appointment did go well, I felt like I was being listened to an acknowledged. 

I know there is a lot I can do to help myself, just need the motivation to do so.

For some reason my back is extremely painful, it hasn't been like this for a long time. I don't know what triggered it. I'm trying to accept the pain and work around it.

The psychologist session triggered a lot of issues. She also stated she thought my work issues from late last year should have been a work cover case. I had asked the Dr that at the time but he stated it was too messy and not worth the trouble it would cause me. 

I need to get my mind back to a more accepting and positive state. I might start with Googling some positive affirmations, I could listen to a relaxation session/meditation on You tube and see if that helps calm the mind and ease some of the muscle tension, read a book, crochet...lots of calming activities to pursue!

[Summer Rose]

Hi Dools

I am an employer and also believe you had a legitimate WorkCover claim based on your account of what happened at work.

The thing is, the Dr is also right. Pursuing a claim, particularly if your employer fights it, can be stressful and really challenging. For many people, it’s not worth the effort.

Your claim is still potentially available, in my opinion. You still work at the same place with the same bully and she is still withholding information from you that you presumably need to do your job. This is a form of bullying.

I don’t believe the way you were treated in the past was fair or in-line with common procedures to investigate and manage complaints based on what you’ve shared. Given this is still impacting you psychologically, emotionally and financially making a claim is something you can consider. Especially as you now have the backing of a professional. 
But you’d have to go into it with your eyes open. From my experience, dealing with WorkCover authorities is rarely easy or straightforward.

Kind thoughts to you

[Doolhof]

Summer Rose,

Thank you  so much for your kind words. I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts with me. Decades ago I worked in Aged Care as a personal carer. I suffered a back injury. I ended up on work cover, had an operation on my back and the whole situation was horrendous and took a huge toll on me.

I am rather reluctant to proceed down the work cover route again. People at work are telling me I should join the union. Why do employees have to take these kinds of actions to be recognised and to have our problems acknowledged? 

When I reported the bullying at work I was told it was my fault because I did not fit in! I had no trouble at all with the other admin staff member who consequently left because her job was made redundant and she was being bullied also by the same person. 

The impact of what happened at work does still play on my mind and could be why I am becoming a recluse, have increased back pain, head aches, muscle tension and a lack of desire to do much at all. 

I have been very disappointed in the lack of concern for my welfare and wellbeing in this matter. I had told work I ended up in hospital due to a massive anxiety attack when this issue first happened.  No comment was made.

 I don't feel at all supported at work by management. They have a reputation to uphold in our community. I feel they would fight a claim all the way and not be concerned about tromping on me in the process. Some other staff drop by my desk sometimes and ask if I am okay which I appreciate. 

I'm earning a wage. I am not on job seeker having to jump through hoops to retain financial assistance. I should be thankful for what I have.

I need to find ways to make the rest of the week worthwhile and meaningful. At present I am just in the mode of existing. 

[Summer Rose]

Hi Dools

I like your plan to keep a firm focus on improving your mental health, and not engaging in activities that will be unhelpful to this primary goal. And we both know that a WorkCover claim will undermine your efforts.
Working with your new practitioner is really important. So is fulfilling your goal of filling the rest of the week with meaning. I’m really hoping the new volunteer role will help.

I would also like to encourage you to consider leaving your current role down the track. I think it’s too much to take in right now and I know and understand that it won’t be easy, but working in an unhealthy and unsafe work environment will eventually take a toll. One step at a time but something to keep in mind.

Health always has to come first, Dools, because everything in life depends on it. I say this as someone dealing with a new physical health diagnosis that has impacted my mental health and turned my life upside down. 
Kind thoughts to you

[Doolhof]

Hi Summer Rose,

My thoughts are with you as you come to terms with, deal with and traverse this new health diagnosis. I hope you receive all the help, assistance and advice you can possibly expect to help you.

Yesterday at work I greatly appreciated the contact I did have with staff. I work by myself with staff whizzing past me doing their own thing in different parts of the building. I have considered leaving. I have applied for work else where. 

My last experience on Job Seeker was demoralising with the staff in the employment assistance office often yelling at me or ignoring me. It was horrendous. My work place is way better than how I was treated there!

I'm having the induction for the volunteer position middle of this month. I am considering joining a charity group that meets fortnightly making craft style items that are sold with money going to community organisations. I am going to enquire about that next week.

Maybe a written daily routine might help me incorporate meditation/relaxation type activities. My sleep is lousy, only having about 3 or 4 hours broken sleep a night. 

Need to find ways to relieve stress so my body mind and soul can chill!

Thinking of you Summer Rose and I truly hope you receive the help and assistance you require. Kind regards form Dools

[Summer Rose]

Hi Dools

Thank you for your kind words and good thoughts for me.  I didn't mean to cause you any worry, just to let you know that I really do get it about the importance of health.

I'm over the shock now and getting excellent help and care.  I have a wonderful medical team, including a psychologist, and am currently benefiting from an experimental treatment.  It's off label stuff but it works so far in that I don't experience debilitating symptoms for up to three months at a time.  Then it's fall in a heap and get back to the specialist as fast as I can!  The treatment won't stop the progression of the disease or prevent impending disability, but I'm in a much better place day-to-day and I am so grateful to have this option.

Life is really funny sometimes.  I've cared for my daughter for over a decade--she has OCD.  So she really understands what it is to carry a heavy burden life, as do you and many others here on the site.  Unfortunately, some things just can't be fixed, and people do their best to carry the load and live their best lives. I thought I understood this through my caring and support role, but now realise that you can never really understand unless you walk in someone else's shoes.

My girl is my inspiration and my strength.  She fills me with joy and pride. I would be so lost without her.

Please know that I'm really grateful for the opportunity to talk with you and very much appreciate knowing you're in my corner.

Kind thoughts to you

[Doolhof]

Hi Summer Rose,

Thanks for sharing more of what you are experiencing, it is comforting to know you have been able to receive the help, care and assistance you need right now.

Illnesses and disabilities of any kind can present so differently in every person who experiences them. We all bring along our own life stories and a life time of happenings that all contribute to how we cope and manage different circumstances.

We can never know exactly how a person is feeling, our expectations of how they should cope in relation to our own life choices can make it difficult for the other person if they are struggling and no one understands. You have explained this very well. You have seen your daughter's progress and now have a deeper understanding through your own struggles.

I find that even if people have no comprehension of how I am feeling and struggling, the acknowledgement and validation that I am having a difficult time helps.

I hope you are able to continue to make changes in your life to adapt and make the most of each day.

Best wishes to you from Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi All,

At the beginning of this recent journey of trying to get some help, I asked the Dr if he would be supportive and work in collaboration with the psychologist. 

I know I have to be pro-active as well. I had not seen the Dr until yesterday since January. I asked if he had received any contact from the psychologist from our first meeting and he stated he had not and it was up to me to request the psychologist sends a report to the Doctor.

The psychologist is stating fortnightly appointments are presently required so she can adeqautely assist me. Problem is I have been allocated only 6 appointments and will then have to see the Dr again to organise another 10 more. It seems the mental health care plan level of 20 appointments during the pandemic have been reduced back to 10.

I'm not sure I can afford the full amount of fees once I get past the 10 sessions. My mind is rather frazzled and messed up so needs a lot of unravelling.

I guess time will tell as to what happens. How do other people manage to support themselves so they don't need psychologists?

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Dool,

I lost all my mental health help June last year, in the beginning it was incredibly hard to get through each day without them by my side, it did get easier over time and I’m managing my my mental health on my own…

For the past five months I’ve been in chronic pain with two frozen shoulders, not being able to sleep, get dressed, shower or even drive my car…I wasn’t doing well at all mentally and wanted the pain to end..and my thoughts were thinking of doing that in the worse way…Each day I would tell myself to wait until tomorrow, tomorrow might be better, that tomorrow turned into a few months, then I got the injections I needed and the day after the injections was a total turn around of my thoughts…I was again looking forward to tomorrow with some joy in my heart….The thing we must always try to remember is that every tiny little thing in our universe is constantly changing…including our thoughts and situations….

I got through those few months, at times dragging my broken body and mind into work 3 days a week, interacting with customers and my work colleagues…when I wasn’t at work, I would play every day music, have my candles burning, do some puzzles, colouring in just  to keep my mind busy…physical work wasn’t possible due to my shoulders…my house became untidy and not very clean at all….it made me feel so useless…. I did make plans to clean my home and do other things I wanted to do for when I could…having something to look forward to, helped…I wanted to plant some potatoes, unfortunately I still haven’t as the injections haven’t worked that well and my shoulders are once again giving me pain and restricted movement..but, you know Dools, I got through it once and this time around I’m stronger in my thoughts because…I got through it before and I now believe that I will get through this again….Dools, you too can get through this…you’ve done it before…I have so much faith in you, that you can and will….Please dear sweet lady, the most important thing is to believe in yourself….keep your hope alive, draw strength from it, believe in it….and each night before you go to bed, make some plans to do something tomorrow that you like to do…then do it, even if you don’t feel like doing it…it does really help, to get you through that day…

When I was seeing my psychiatrist and psychologist I did ask them to send to my Dr. a review of our talks and how I was or wasn’t progressing at my visits to them..which he was pleased to do…then when my next Drs visit arrived, my Dr would have that information and was better able to help me….

My kindest thoughts Dear Dools…and a warm caring hug..

Grandy..