i have been clean for almost 2 months now, im super proud of myself, but after not really thinking about it for days I will randomly get really strong urges? AAh i know its probably normal but its really not fun, anyone got any tips to deal with urges?
Yeah definitely haha, chase the boys and be chased by the boys too 😛 - I hope it's better you in that regard.
How's everything else going, like coping with study and how's your relationship with your parents, other than them being unhelpful or trying to force you to talk? - which can be problematic can't it.
ahah yeah, no either than the homophobia and racism my parents are great (so odd to hear that in the same sentence) but they do care about me so not much to complain, uhhh yeah stress about studying is normally what causes me to relapse but I've been doing okay i just have to make it through these rounds of assesments, their at the start of the term this time so they can get reports out which is fun as they like to cramp it all together but im coping okay so far
and the sexism ^ sorry thats a big mention, they are lovely people mostly especially my dad but he is also especially sexist just yesterday he told me the world would be okay if women stayed at home like they always had
I can relate to assessment causing psychological distress. I'm currently studying at uni at the moment, and have been for a while. Yeah it's brutal really how much they make young men and women do at high school. Happy to talk through coping with assessments if you ever want to - I've plenty of "trauma" from that haha.
Is the homophobia and sexism personally distressing to you?
sometimes the sexism gets to me because you know its just stupid and thats also the reason it doesn't get to me because he's not educated, but the homophobia really gets to me especially with my mother as im part of the community and am too frightened to come out to her because of the things she's 'threatened' and said. I don't think she would kick me out but at the same time I just don't know. I have tested the waters with her before and her responses haven't been good. Anyway my dad is definitely the most problematic but my mother just is on a whole other level of homophobia, I don't know which one is worse.
Well done on staying clean for two months! Super normal to have urges from what i've read. I've heard meditation and going for a walk in nature can be good for this, as i've heard usually these kinds of urges only last a little while so if you can do something to distract yourself for even just ten minutes you might find a big reduction in the intensity. I saw a school counsellor in high school and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. It was a bit scary at first although they were super kind and helpful. Hope that helps!
thank you so much for the tips S D, I am currently seeing the counsellor at my school as well but am not sure if I want to return and if I do should I tell her about my self harm? I really don't want her to call my parents and all though they already know I'd rather not have that conversation again
I do wish I did better in school but I'm not failing or anything (other than maths sometimes but we don't talk about that ahah) I will admit I had never studied very hard (except for maths as I would literally get one mark if I didnt) until last year and struggle with procrastination but I have improved and normally I eat something and do some work (sometimes taking a break for a walk) but I have had to catch up on a fair bit of content as I previously decided to not study and self sabotage, so I'm basically studying way more than others in my class and it's a bit stressful (which admittedly is my fault) But I really worry about relapsing during exam season as stress or not doing well in an exam is something that triggers me
