"let me clean my room"

[cra5y]

Hi, I'm 22.

Everyday I wake up feeling.. out of it, not in control, sad, my life is plain and simple and I find myself isolating myself in my room more and more, work is a drag and I can't get the courage to explore, I have this constant thought of everything would be easier if I just up and left. i've tried multiple times.. ending it, but never been successful.. when I'm alone I get the encouragement to do it, like today is the day, I'm gonna clean my room, and leave, but I have this fear, everything I've amounted to would be for nothing. my life would be just a bedroom, car and some photos, nothing more, and the fear id be forgotten haunts me, am I scared? am I wrong for not being in control of my own actions? I don't know..
I don't feel like I used to, since I was 15 I've been like this, never being able to overcome it. this feeling of unworthiness, emptiness and sadness.
at this point I'm just rambling. I'm sorry. I just don't have anyone who'd listen properly.

I just wanna leave.

[Sophie_M]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings here. We know it can be daunting to write a post like this, especially when you struggling,  We're sorry to hear how difficult it has been for you. It sounds like the added stress from being alone has made you feel completely overwhelmed.

Please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space to talk things through and our community is here to offer as much support, advice, and conversation as you need. We're sure that a lot of our community members can relate to these feelings and hopefully, some of them will pop by to offer you words of wisdom and kindness.

In the meantime, if you believe it could be helpful, you may like to speak with a counselor - Lifeline (13 11 14) and/or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) are ready to listen, any time of the day or night.

[Petal22]

Hi cra5y,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

I understand all of these feelings would feel very overwhelming.

Things can get better for you.

I highly recommend that you make an appointment with your gp and discuss the way you have been feeling with them.

You could do a mental health plan together this will enable you to see a psychologist.

Hang in there

[Flyonzwall]

Hey i, I feel your pain, nobody deserves to feel this way, I hope happiness finds you my friend, you are worthy and you'll always be worthy and I hope the years ahead get better for you, I know it's hard but please try, not for nobody else but for yourself

Regards Shaun