Lost on how to help

[Malto2001]

Hi everyone, I’m lost on ways to help my boyfriend, he has been telling me he is feeling suicidal and I honestly, other than being there for him,I am not sure in ways I can help. We are 22 years old and I’m not allowed to stay at his place much because his parents won’t let us sleep over (we still live at home) I’m hoping to move out but money wise don’t think it will happen anytime soon. He can stay at my house as much as he likes but my home life is not great and I live with toxic people so it’s not a comfortable environment. He has booked psychologist appointments but he says they don’t help him. I’ve told some of his close family what is going on but they just don’t seem to understand the full extent and how serious everything is. I’m scared he’s going to hurt himself. He struggles with OCD and it takes over his life, does anyone know of any resources I can pass onto him? Or how else I can support

thanks 

[therising]

Hi Melto2001

You are such a beautiful partner, so so so beautiful. He is so blessed to have you looking out for him. He is also blessed to have a partner who feels so deeply for him, including feeling the extent of his suffering.

There will always be moments in our life where guidance may be the only way to manage parts of our life path that can feel so dark and/or confusing. You are in the process of seeking guides for him and that's one of the things that makes you so beautiful. You're seeking guides for him within his family but they're not stepping up for some reason. Perhaps they simply refuse to open their minds to just how much he is suffering. You've come here seeking some guidance for him too. I imagine you've said and done a lot more than this as you work so hard to be one of his guiding lights. Unfortunately, sounds like psychologists aren't proving to offer the guidance for him he so desperately needs and wants. So, you're both working hard but no one outside the 2 of you appears to be guiding in any significant way. Incredibly frustrating.

Would you say he's a sensitive kind of guy? Can he sense a lot of what's depressing in his life but doesn't necessarily know how to manage what's depressing? For example, while you sound fully conscious of how toxic or potentially depressing your family can be at times, do you feel he's dealing with levels of toxicity within his family but doesn't full recognise to what degree? From my own experience, something else that can become deeply depressing is feeling 'completely an utterly lost and not knowing which way to go in life'. Accompanying this can be the feeling of 'standing still, hoping and wishing something will change'. These can be such a brutal emotions to be feeling, with a lot of incredibly challenging internal dialogue that can come with them.

What do you feel, deep down, is one of his greatest challenges?

As you continue to feel so deeply for him, be careful (full of care) for yourself. Remember to bring yourself moments of joy and peace where you can find them. Someone who acts as a light for someone else needs things to fuel that light. Take good and loving care of yourself.