Living in car

[James010405]

Howdy everyone. My partner and I of 7 years broke up at the start of the year and I've got no place to go. My 3 kids don't know that I'm officially classed as homeless and living out of my car for the last 9 months. Both my parents and sister have passed away a while ago now and I don't have any family to turn to for help. 2 mates know all the details and how I'm living and trying to help. I'm still working 2 jobs and can't get a rental to call home either. I had 2 Social workers give up on me trying to find a home, my ex was trying for 3 weeks but gave up and now a mate has offered to help with a bond if I find a place. Finding a place seems like a waste of time because I don't have anything to put in a home. My dog is living with the ex and she won't let me see my 15yo dog either now or even send me a picture of how she is going as well.. this Xmas coming will be the 8th shittiest in a row now and I just can't do it again. I just can't seem to get a break in life or get the hell I need to have a happy life again or share it with someone that loves me. Everything seems pointless or useless to me and all I can think of is just going, disappear or leave without a trace to never come back. I know it will break my 2 sons 18,17 and my 20yo daughter would not care. She refuses to see me, talk to me or even reply in texts and now she won't let me see my 9 month old grandchild that I've seen 1 time for 10 min. I have no where to go, no one to turn to and everyone gives up on me now and I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel and only seems like my hole is getting deeper by the day now. I cry myself to sleep most nights while sleeping in a sleeping bag in my car and pray to the lord to take me in my sleep but it never happens. I'm sick of this missarible life and so exhausted to the point where I can't think of see properly now. I need help and kindness

[Sophie_M]

Dear James010405
 
Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums, we are so glad that you have made you way here and had the bravery to post.  We just want to let you know that we will also be reaching out to you privately to offer you some additional support this evening, so if you could check you mailbox that would be great.
 
There are no words other than simply to say we are so sorry for all that you have gone through over this past year, for the loss of your parents and sister, and to have had to live through this relationship separation.  It sounds like you are doing the very best that you can in a very difficult situation James010405, to have sustained this lifestyle, on top of holding down two jobs is astonishing, how have you managed so far, to overcome these challenges that would have defeated many others? 
 
As much as we want to tell you to remember that it won’t be like this forever, and that to take this day by day, we can also hear just how relentless this is feeling for you too.  However please keep doing what you are doing, reaching out for support where you can, and this includes talking to your friends who sound like they have been a good support for youso far as you navigate this difficult situation. 
 
In the meantime, we would love for you to give one of our fully trained counsellors a call for some counselling support, we are here 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or via our WebChat.  Here, you could provide more information in terms of your circumstances, location and in turn, explore options for possible referrals and practical supports?
 
Please be kind to yourself and remember you aren’t alone on this journey, even if it feels like you are at times.  We will leave you in the hands of our lovely community members who will be here on your thread soon.  Thanks again for sharing. It’s a powerful and brave first step towards feeling better.


Regards 
 
Sophie M

[geoff]

Hello James, being in a situation like this must be terrible for you, if you can copy and paste this in your search browser 'emergency housing australia'  I hope you find some help because it's just not right for anyone to be confined to live in a car.

Your two 'friends' who know of this, surely they could house you until you are able to find somewhere or I understand if this is not possible.

I would open up to your sons and let them know, they may know somewhere where you can live, whether it's temporary or a beginning for you.

Please let us know.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[James010405]

Thank you for the warm welcome hear.  I've been working the 2 jobs 6 days a week for the past 11 years now.  My work mates think I'm living in a mates caravan in a driveway and don't know the truth. I can't tell anyone because of the shame I feel and the added stress it will add as well.. I was married for 13 years then found out my wife was having an affair then we got divorced when I was 37, then met my last partner which lasted 7 years then she cheated too. Now I'm alone at 45 and no where to go. Life just gets harder by the day it seems now. I get up and go to work everyday because I got nothing else to do and go. Plus I get to use the work kitchen and toilets too. No one seems to understand how expensive it is to be homeless and to purchase food and meals and then somehow live. People seem to think that because homeless people don't do anything and get free stuff isn't correct at all. My 2 sons keep me going and get me out of the car and I think that's the only thing that keeps me alive anymore these days to be honest. Everyday is exhausting and I'm mentally drained and tired to the point I need a afternoon nap to keep me going for a few more hours in the evenings.. 

[Guest_1584]

Hi op and so sorry about the situation and especially the betrayals , it doesn't seem to take much these days frankly l don't think they makem like they use to.

But if your doing two jobs 11 yrs surely you can find somewhere and have money saved and what have you, not paying rent and all the costs that come with your own place.

At any rate dk where your work is but often people have bungalows, granny flats, cabins or something , especially in regional areas which can be far cheaper.

You prob know but l know someone got a mths rent and the bond through the Salvos to l think it was if you needed it which would be a great head start.

There's also home grants and all sorts of things on offer when you have the energy l'd really spend a few wks digging into all of it never know, something could get you started.

Best of luck anyway .

rx

[Guest_1584]

Sorry op forgot to mention sharing also ,you prob have but  thought of that or ?

There's prob a lot of single people living alone wouldn't mind some extra money and company.

My daughter was looking 12mths but since found a share house 120pw she's so happy to finally get a start.

rx

[James010405]

I've been looking for a unit, share house, bungalow, granny flat or anything that's 1 or 2 bedroom place for 9 months mate. There isn't anything around me and what comes up you don't even get to look at it before it's taken off the market or people offer more than what there asking PW.  MY Social worker was just finding me places down near the CBD or close to that and then it's 45min to an hour drive to work. It's just too far and not what I need tbh. I had funding for bond and 1st months rent with a agency but they some how lost the paperwork and I had to fill it out 2 times and to leave work an hour early both time with out lay to do it. Now that agency doesn't contact me anymore even when I email the social worker she don't reply back. I had another company get me to fill out paperwork for government housing but never heard anything more from them either. Seems everyone wants to help but no one actually does anything except pass me along to another place that says they don't help homeless men or can't get funding from men. Everything is for women or demstic abuse for women or children these days. If I actually get approval for a place of any kind I don't actually have anything but a fridge, tele, microwave, washing machine and a heap of clothes. So in theory what's the actual point of getting a place to call home?? If your a female you get the world offered to you but because I'm a man I get nothing and plenty of it.  

[Hanna3]

Hi James

I just came by for a moment and saw your post.

I'm really sorry about your housing situation, there are so many people around where I live who are staying in tents or in cars and vans.

The only thing I wanted to let you know is that once you do finally get somewhere to live, the charities like the salvos or vinnies can help you with furniture. A guy near me who got a public housing unit was donated a bed and basic furniture like fridge, couch and television by the charities. So do ask them for assistance.

Lots of people here are camping and get hot meals from a church here or they cook in the park using picnic equipment there. One church here supplies sleeping bags.

It's terrible this is happening in this country but I do hope that you can get assistance soon.

[Guest_1584]

hI OP and yeah l know it l went through divorce to ha, if only l wore a skirt, l know.

And yeah l fully agree with hanna salvos and the others, incredible, try them for your bond and stuff they were brilliant for a guy l know. And furniture mate you've got a bit then God l've moved in with just a mattress and doona. Op shops are also brilliant my place is full of op shop furniture. last score was a beautiful table still had plastic on top l knew it was worth a lot got it 80bucks. Saw the exact table in a catalogue few mths later 21/2 k.  You just find good op shops and just keep browsing every wk or so, mostly old stuff but they also get some real gems, love op shops.

Shame you weren't regional and yeah a unit would be really nice, l mainly meant the others just as a start, a step up from the car at least. But yeah ldk wth is wrong with this country and all this housing stuff it's criminal- that's what we get from 20yrs of libs l think. But even so they cut immigration to almost nothing 2yrs through Covid, there should be more housing than ever.

rx

[Guest_1584]

Ps , but yeah as hanna said anyway, they may even just supply you with furniture, l didn't know about that.

Good luck anyway.