I'm starting to think it might just be me that is the problem, not the health care professionals.
After a long few weeks of waiting while they were on leave I finally had appointments today with both my gp and my psychologist. Now I feel so... I don't even know.
My gp appointment was changed to telehealth, which I understand was unavoidable because of covid, but that already meant the time was cut in half and I find everything harder over the phone. I went into the appointment with one goal - to get a referral for some extra support that I feel like I need (and that was suggested by my psychologist). The gp seemed to completely brush this off and just talked about other supports. I felt like continuing to push for the referral would be rude so I just left it but I'm so disappointed with myself for how it went. I was really hoping to get thus referral to be able to try and continue moving forward and now that the idea has been shut down, I don't know what to do.
Then I saw my psychologist and it didn't go well either. She's lovely but I feel like I'm too complex for her. Like she doesn't know how to support me or understand me. The thought of finding a new psychologist and going through my history and building a relationship again is too much.
I feel ready to just give up on it all. Getting to the point of admitting I need help and then asking for it was so hard and I've been struggling through for months now waiting for appointments, waiting for guidance from my gp on what I should do and after the disappointment of today it all just feels too hard.
