I’m so tired I can’t do this anymore

[Katie24005]

I am currently studying vce full time and doing two year 12 subjects as a year 11, I work 6 hour days every Saturday, and complete one hour of tutoring weekly. No matter how hard I try to keep on top of things I just constantly feel like I am failing, I’m so tired. When I get home from school I have so much work to do and end up doing homework until 10 or 12 at night, I know I can’t sustain this but I just don’t know how else im going to be able to get everything done. Im burnt out and it’s only the second week of term. I know I do put a lot of pressure on myself because I am a perfectionist but I really don’t know how to fix this and complete the best work I can. Plus I haven’t really made time to hang out with my friends in a while, I feel like they are drifting away from me but I don’t know what to do. I’m just so so tired i don’t know what to do

[therising]

Hi Katie

My heart goes out to you as you face the overwhelming challenges of year 11 going on to year 12, something that can definitely feel like a form of torture for some.

As a mum to a guy who's in year 12 this year and having a daughter who faced year 12 during covid lock downs in Victoria, I've witnessed the mental torture that can come from what can be the most challenging years in secondary school. In my opinion, there are a number of faults in the system and sadly so many hard working students suffer through them.

With a balance of 8 hours of work, 8 hours of rest and 8 hours of play, the final 2 years are not set up to accommodate balance. The Australian education system sees no problem with significant 'overflow'. Technically, there should be 6 hours of work, with a couple of hours added for revision which you could call homework. It more so looks like 6 hours during school, some hours after school and revision on top of that. While most of us get 2 days off a week, for rest and play, a student may use one or both of those days in order to catch up, returning to school Monday exhausted, starting the cycle again. While we're at it, let's call 'holiday homework' what it is, work that can't be crammed into the term. Basically, students are trying to manage too much work, to the point of stress and exhaustion. The system's faults are not your faults.

Are you looking at wanting to study at uni or simply complete VCE? Are you heavily focused on an ATAR when perhaps you don't need to be? Perhaps you could consider changing a subject so that you have one that doesn't require much work, freeing up time for the other subjects? Could this year's subjects being too complex, too time consuming and maybe unrelatable, compared to previous years? Could you be facing focus issues or exhaustion that hasn't been a problem 'til now? Is it possible some of the teachers aren't teaching in relatable ways, requiring you to do more work? With perfectionism, keep in mind it's taught in schools, directly or indirectly. Being conditioned to not lose marks promotes perfectionism.

Do you have a particular career in mind at this point?

[Katie24005]

Hi thanks so much for your response. I am planning on going to university possibly into international studies or anything to do with human rights. I am very concerned with my atar result, not because I need a crazy high score but because I so desperately want to achieve high results. Unfortunately this really overwhelms me, and is making it very hard to complete work, considering how stressed I get trying to make everything perfect. I have been experiencing exhaustion and trouble focussing as a result. I feel like I am trapped in that never ending cycle of school work you described. I have been considering applying for a study period, they are not generally given to year 11 students. However, considering I am completing two year 12 subjects it would drastically help with my workload. Thanks again, the school system truly is outdated and detrimental. 

[therising]

Hi Katie

I've found the phrase 'Under the circumstances' to be a helpful one to work with. For example, under the circumstances where the work is easy and completely relatable and there's not much of it, a high score is achievable. On the other hand, under the circumstances where the workload is huge, the work is more complex than ever, it's perhaps not taught in a relatable way, significant exhaustion is in play and not enough time is a factor, a perfect score or close to it is virtually unachievable.

One of the things I've found, in relation to my son, is it's amazing what can be done in the case of a student seriously struggling, what a school is prepared to do in order to accommodate the struggle factor. Sounds like a good idea, speaking to someone about the free period. I employed a student organiser who's helping my son develop better study habits and routines. While he seriously struggles with focus, she's also been advocating for him while interacting with head of the well being dept at school. The head of the well being dept has been interacting with my son's teachers, leading them to provide him with extra learning support. While I believed the well being team was more so about mental health support, I've discovered they're also involved in a lot of other areas that lead to greater mental health, academic support included. I think a school won't go above and beyond unless they're aware they need to. Definitely worth mentioning to someone your needs in relation to the workload and how much you're struggling with the time factor. They might be able to offer other suggestions in the way of managing, perhaps ones you haven't been led to consider.

With my brother being a member of the education system (uni lecturer), his advice has often been 'When the system doesn't work, work the system in your favor'.

[Katie24005]

Thanks so much. Luckily I do think I enjoy the work I just need to learn to take some of the pressure off. Your sons circumstances seem similar to mine I think talking to the well-being staff could benefit me greatly, I’m just a bit of a stubborn perfectionist who doesn’t often like to accept help haha. I hope he achieves his desired result in his studies, without too much stress. I am taking steps to make sure I maximise my grasp of the content with a tutor so hopefully anything my teacher says that doesn’t seem to stick with me, they could help with. My mum is also in education as a uni lecture and has taught high school in the past, so she definitely makes sure to remind me to take some of the stress of whilst doing the best I can, I am very lucky to have her to guide me through these years. Your words of advice are so very helpful and I admire you for taking time out of your day to help me, someone you don’t even know. Thank you so so much x

[therising]

Hi Katie

With you being such a determined hardworking person and having the extra support from a tutor, while also having a fantastic compassionate guide who knows the system (your mum), you're set up for success. That extra tweaking, support from the school, is another factor in a recipe for success. It can be all the right ingredients that produce the best outcome.

As I said to my son, 'You will always face times in your life, no matter your age, where you can say 'So far, this has been the hardest time of my life''. While the hardest time may come in different forms for different people, it has many factors in common. Some of those factors: Not knowing exactly how to manage what you've never had to manage before, an array of new and highly testing challenges and emotions, the need for compassion, support and guidance and the challenge to open our mind to ways that can work while developing new skills, abilities and ways of thinking. Facing our hardest time is something to always be proud of. You should be incredibly proud of yourself.