I don’t know if what I am feeling is normal or if I am overreacting

[Forrest_123]

Hi,

I am constantly thinking about death. I think what if.. all the time. I've imagined ways that I can die. I don’t know if everyone feels like this or if it is just me overreacting. I also don’t like talking to people. And if I do have to talk to someone I would rather have it done all at once in a phych ward or something so that I don’t have to deal with explaining everything to my family. I think I’m just meant to keep surviving until it gets to such a bad point that I call the police on myself? I don’t know anymore...

when should I call the emergency services? I heard that the hospital only has a few beds for teenagers, what if they don’t have room for me and I have to leave and then explain everything to my family? What if I get traumatised from being there? What if I am actually fine and just overreacting?
someone please explain to me what I’m feeling and what I am meant to do.

also I’m not thinking of taking action immediately, I just need to know what will happen and what I’m meant to do.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Forrest 123,

We're so sorry to hear that you've been struggling with these thoughts of dying for quite some time now, and we can hear that this must be really overwhelming to cope with. We hope you feel that these forums are a safe space, free of judgement to talk about these thoughts and feelings, and our caring community is here to help offer as much support, advice and conversation as you need through this difficult time.

Our Support Service are also currently reaching out to check in with you, and can help talk through some supports to help you through this.

If you feel that you may be in immediate risk of harm, it's really important that you do contact 000 (triple zero), or you can also go to the hospital yourself if you feel like you are able to stay safe to make the journey. In this situation, a medical professional team will be able to talk through potential next steps, and assess the levels of risk to your safety. Another option might be to get in touch with your local crisis assessment and treatment team for advice.

In overwhelming moments like these, please know support is always help available to you, whether it be from the friendly counsellors at our Beyond Blue Support Service (1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467). These services are available to you 24/7 and you can access them as often as you need when things are feeling like too much to cope with, and can help answer some of the questions you may be having about emergency services and the hospital.

We hope that you can find some comfort in the kind words from our community, and please feel free to keep updating your thread here, on how you're feeling whenever you are ready.

[geoff]

Hello Forest_123, and thank you so much for posting your comment, but with great concern for your wellbeing, simply because this a thought that people suffering from depression of any type can have, I included.

All we want is for someone to listen, no judgement, only to listen to how we're actually feeling.

It could be about any issue or a multitude of events that have been created, that doesn't matter, all you want is to talk to a person who will just sit next to you and hear what you are so terribly upset over.

That's what this site provides, talking with so many other people who have been in exactly the same position as you, that doesn't make your situation easier, it's not, because each one of us are so different, how we face it and possible options to choose from.

It would be great to hear back from you when you are able.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Forrest_123]

hello,

I thought i would come post an update.

i got diagnosed with anxiety and depression a few months ago, after going to the emergency department. I got put into CAMHS and given a psychiatrist. I am now taking meds. they helped for the first month but now i am feeling horrible again. I dont know how much longer i am able to do this. Why was i the person that got given this life. I didnt choose to be born and i did choose to go to school and its just so hard. it hurts so bad.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Forrest,

Thanks for reaching out here and updating us on how you've been doing. 

We're glad to hear you've received support from a psychiatrist and that this was helpful for the first few months. Are you still in touch with your psychiatrist and taking medication? We're so sorry to hear how awful you feel at the moment and can hear the pain and hopelessness in your words. Please know that although things are difficult now, they will not always be and things can get better. 

We're checking in with you via private email to offer our support.  We would also strongly recommend that you get in touch with Kids Helpline - https://kidshelpline.com.au/. It can help to talk it out when you're feeling overwhelmed. Kids Helpline counsellors can be contacted 24/7 by young people 25 and under via telephone and also via webchat if you go through the website provided.